6 Reasons Why Having a 6th Child is More Awesome than the 1st

It was mildly annoying and sort of surprising that the most common question I was asked when expecting our 6th was ...

"Are you excited?" 

As if, it was questionable that I might NOT be. Sad day! Excitement is totally expected when having your 1st or 2nd, but totally worthy of questioning when having any beyond that point. Sort of silly in my opinion... and sad.

But, to put all at ease, I felt implored to share why having #6 is just as awesome that having your 1st... because it is JUST as worthy of excitement!

#1 - Having your 6th is more awesome because you are already broken in. You have no delusions of a baby who sleeps all night long or rarely fusses or works around your life and schedule. You realize that you are there to serve them, help them and nurture them. This isn't about you and you know it!

#2 - Number 6th will most likely be a pretty chill person (but, maybe sometimes they aren't). They've been bombarded from the womb with loud sounds of siblings, jostlings from the outside, and such ... you're already mothering and it's not all revolving around them. They naturally just begin life going with the flow that is surrounding them. They sort of just slip in and find their little niche!

#3 - You already know what to do. It's fairly unlikely that you haven't had a colic baby or one who wouldn't gain weight well, or any number of other things. You've dealt with countless cases of croup, fevers, flus and childhood dilemmas. It might not make you worry less, but you know how to do what you need to do or where to find answers. And if something new crops up you can always say, "Well, this is new... but I'm sure we'll be ok!"

#4 - You know what you need and will use and you don't stress about getting every thing all set up. You likely have all the clothes a baby could ever wear, a hefty stash of cloth diapers and toys galore! We didn't even have a carseat until I was 37 weeks pregnant... I knew I'd most likely go "overdue" {again} and I needn't worry about getting it. We also didn't put together our crib until just a few days before I was 40 weeks, because I wouldn't need to use it "for weeks"... really all I knew I needed was a few blankets, some diapers and wipes and... well, that's {really} all we'd NEED!

#5 - Number 6th is a walk in the park when you have bigger kids around! I've always said a baby should come with a resident 10 year old! They can hold, sooth, love, entertain and even diaper a baby (if trained well). The baby sees it's older siblings as helpers and authorities too... a stern look from a bigger sibling thwarts a tantrum and a baby can look to a sibling when it scared or unsure. It pretty much ROCKS!

#6 - Having your 6th is most awesome because you get to share the joy! As a family of 7 nearly everyone can delight in the ultrasound, your growing girth and baby kicks. Everyone can't wait to find out if they are getting a brother or sister! Everyone has ideas about names or how to decorate. Who will it look most like??? Its all wonderful! And then after the baby arrives everyone delights in all the wonders of the baby... how sweet, how big, how lovely!!!  Baby is a joy giver to all and all share in it!

That's just some of the reasons why #6 is amazingly, sweetly and wonderfully AWESOME ... 

and worthy of excitement, joy and peaceful feelings!

{Not to imply that #1-5 aren't!}

Wink. 

Summer Recap ~ Because I Haven't Blogged Since June

All good summers start with sunshine and smiles...

Addie managed the trading post again and mowed our lawn on her own... The boys later joined her in both tasks and it was a game changer for us! 

Eli took his grandma out on a paddle board. 

We did the Duck Race ... The water was high! Later the EPA spilled 3 million gallons of toxic mine water into our river... True story! 

The camp babies played and we all watched them.

We had mice. This one fell in my sink and couldn't get out. I picked him up with tongs and put him outside. I think he promptly came back in... 

Highland Games at camp, never disappoint. 

Addie baby wearing for the 1st time 

Our friends from TN, the Velkers, stopped for a visit... We have 13 children combined! Loved seeing them and sharing a little bit of life. 

Allan made a new friend 

Camp nurse Justine showed my children how to find out where their poop is located in their bodies by thumping sounds. 

Whitley learned to play the piano...

Then climbed the stairs. 

Knitting class - Year 8! Knit on! 

We all sat and watched babies play some more. 

Camp ended and we went nutso! 

We are currently finishing up our summer 35 Book Reading Challenge! This was Cora's last book... read to Whitley, because it just seemed fitting. 

This summer was a wild one! 

Tim and I had our 13th anniversary. Tim nearly cut his pinky off. We drilled a well, made a road, and made some big life choices. We walked alongside our staff as they did what God put before them. We finally got Thea fully potty trained!!! Glory be! 

I felt like I was riding a bucking bronco, just hanging on for dear life, most of the time. Goodness knows I don't do so well at that, but God was there, ever present, always gracious and might! 

It was real. 

Real good.

Real hard.

Real eventful. 

Real sweet. 

Real God by our side! 

A Baby's Perspective on Raising a Happy Mother

I’ve decided that I’ve been spoiling my mommy. 

Experts in “Attachment Babying” recommend that from birth on, a baby should try to adapt itself to the life of it's mommy. A baby should sleep well, eat well and generally have an agreeable disposition. They recommend “cue feeding” ... looking to mommy to read her need for nursing (when she starts pulling at her bra straps, soiling her shirt with milk, getting red in the face, perspiring ... that sort of thing.) They also recommend letting a mommy sleep as much as she likes and seeking to let her form her own routine, however ridiculous that may be and a baby should naturally adapt to mommy's crazy, nonsensical "routine".

But … I learned that when this method is applied, a mommy tends to develop some very bad habits ... it is almost embarrassing! I know that when I take her out in public I'll have other babies looking down their short round noses at me if I don't begin to help my mommy be a more adaptable person.

After a lot of research here are two other methodologies to raising a mommy that have better outcomes ... "The Happiest Mommy on the Block" and “Baby~Wise”. 

I'd like to share my findings with you! 


With "Happiest Mommy on the Block" you implement the 4 C's...

Cry/Colic - The sound of crying is very soothing to mommies. That's why they begin to rock you (a sign of self-soothing) and zone out. If she is shooshing you, you need to cry louder until she stops.
Cuddle - Sleeping with your mommy is the best way to give her the best rest possible and also help her learn the important life skill of sleeping anywhere, at any time.
Carry - Let her carry you and walk you around, bouncing is encouraged! Mommywearing is also very helpful at encouraging continual carrying, and it is pretty stylish and can get addictive. This helps her regulate and it has the added benefit of helping her lose her baby fat.
Chow down - Mothers need a baby to eat all night long and in regularly timed intervals through out the day (every 15 to 25 minutes) ... this helps them build up a great supply of milk that stabilizes her hormones that are out of whack in the postpartum time period!

This is promised to give you the Happiest Mommy on the Block!!! 



Baby~Wise is a method that has gotten some bad press in recent years, but I think it's all because it is greatly misunderstood (and at times wrongly applied)!

Basically, Baby~Wise is where the baby uses its own wisdom to train it’s parents to do what is beneficial for the whole family. 

I know… please don’t throw rotten tomatoes yet, hear me out! 

This requires putting mommy on a gentle, yet stringent, schedule for both feeding and sleeping … which basically looks like doing whatever fits the baby's life, routine and desire's best! It's important to start teaching the mommy early that there are rules which they must live by. It also requires waking her up in the night or better yet having her bring you back into bed with her until about age 24 months or more. This is to help her learn to differenciate night and day. Night is when you lay by her and suck continually and day is when you pop on and off all the time.

It does require a baby to allow her mommy to “self-sooth” and from time to time “cry-it-out” (CIO) but I will promise you that after the first few weeks of practicing Baby~Wise your mommy will stop crying so much and learn the skills she needs to sooth herself. Your home will be a happy place again.

And yes, I have heard that CIO can be damaging to mommy’s emotional state, but for real, a little crying never hurt anyone. We all know "everyone needs a good cry every now and then!” (Please no nasty comments… we can all live and let live, if you don’t agree with CIO practices just skip that part).

Baby~Wise is done to help her grow up and become a more well-rounded individual, selfless and more mature. This will make her a happy mommy in the long run. I know that many think this could be harmful for mommies, but it's about keeping the end in mind. 

I recently heard about a study on mothers in Africa. Their babies hold to a very rigid form of Baby~Wise... they don't leave their mommies alone for a moment and nurse them nearly 24/7 and it was found that their mommies are some of the happiest mommies on the planet. It must be that "village wisdom" they've passed down from baby to baby!

Plus, you can take it from a baby with 5 older siblings… experienced in the art of being a baby. "Babies of many", like me,  have been around the block a time or two we aren't "first timers" unsure of what we should do with our mommies. 

I have been spoiling mommy… it is evident in her behavior. She was beginning to get “fussy” and demanding. She thinks she runs this family, well, she needs to learn her place and Baby~Wise is the best method to accomplish this! If you want to know more, fellow babies, I have plenty of personal experience to prove just how effective this method is! 

A Week of Words Around Our Home

Cora  

"Is there quicksand in water?" ... "If someone steps in quicksand we can pray and ask God to help them... That would be the best thing to do, I think." 

"Elias, when someone says 'No.' you don't just stand there saying 'Pleeeeeze.' Everyone knows that that doesn't work... and it annoying!"

"If a man ever tried to kiss me I'd tell him 'I don't do that until I am married, Mr.!' And I wouldn't!"

Elias 

"Hey, look at my back mom. I got a carpet stain on it..." (He meant a rug burn).

Addie 

I (mama) was talking to Tim as we were watching Fantasia and asked "Did you get to watch this too when you had a sub at school?" Addie said "They let you eat subs at school! That's so cool!" 

Allan

"Whitley you are so nice and fat on your legs!"
(True to his African heritage... he loves fatness!)

Thea

"Mom! Cora broke my feelings..."

"Mom? Does that picture make me look like Miss Hannigan?" 

Mama~ "No, honey. Do you think you look like Miss Hannigan in it?"

Thea~ "Yeah... I look funny!"

A Convo with Cora

"Mom, why don't people nurse their bigger kids?"

"Well, once a child gets so big that they can drink out of a cup they just want to do that instead of nurse, usually. But some people do."

"Plus... if the mom put her milk in a cup it would squirt, squirt, squirt out one drop at a time (she demonstrates) and the kid would be thinking, 'Wow, this is taking a really long time, for just a glass of milk!'"

She Can Laugh... with a Big Belly

So I dropped a log of frozen meat on the top of my large protruding belly. Don't ask how that happened, it just did... then I proceeded to have contractions (mild ones) for about 3 hours.

I am calling it the "frozen meat bonk induction method."

Except, it failed this time, as they stopped after I spent some time laying down.
I might try it again at 40 + weeks...
Golly my life is crazy!

:::::

A few nights ago I was kissing the boys goodnight when Eli looked up at my large globular middle and said, "It's not going to stay that way after the baby comes, will it?"

I said, "No, it will go back to normal... eventually."

He asked how soon.

I said, "Well, probably a week or so..."

He thought... then looked really sorry for me, "Oh, I thought it would look better right away, that's too bad, mom..."

:::::

Tim and I were going to go see the new Planet of the Apes movie on a date, and we watched the trailer that featured a portion of the first movie... a recap. Addie watched on, because we thought it wouldn't be too scary. We stopped it when it did get intense, but she saw the intro and main concept. 

After watching it she turned to Tim and said, "And that's why you don't give drugs to monkeys!"

I laughed for days after... 

:::::

Allan is such a chill person. Seriously, he NEVER gets worked up over anything. That's why we were all taken back when Tim was asking Cora if she had a best friend (she doesn't have any girls her age around at all). He suggested that maybe our friends new little boy (her age) that is coming home via adoption could be her friend. At this Allan started sputtering and saying "No... no... no... he's me and Eli's friend..." in a very impassioned way. 

We all busted up. Sorry Cora, our Ugandan friend is already claimed as Allan and Eli's friend. 

:::::

Just this...
Cora "cleaning"

I cannot wait to see what she is like as an adult, because she is seriously the coolest 5 year old I know.

And this... 

Thea "taking a nap".

One of the major downsides to having a (partially) white family... because I am 100% sure black families don't keep head scratchers like this around... Sad day!

Stuff that is Going On 'Round Here

Camp started. In fact, our first set of campers have left and today we get a new set! It's been good.

The baby (and my belly) are growing larger and more uncomfortable.

Our well is still struggling to give us enough water. It is not fun. We are trying to solve the problem. Praying for rain.

Cora wears cow"girl" boots to camp each day and comes home and changes into sparkly high heals every afternoon.

We had twins arrive... not me... our goat. I played goat midwife and lactation consultant. We are thinking of naming them Nash (the boy) and Marrietta (the girl)...

Our new chicks arrived. We've only lost one!

Thea (and I) are taking a "take two" on the whole potty training/big girl undies deal. We've had mostly successes! Keep it positive... keep it positive!

I am working on finishing up my last school year records binder and planning for next fall.

My lupines are blooming.

The boys are covered in a fine layer of dirt most days at camp. Given that we have little water I've given up... Eli looks more brown, and Allan looks more light brown, so it evens things out...

I have ONE red juicy tomato in my green house!

I am not planting an outdoor garden this year... due to lack of water and my larger girth.

Addie is the trading post manager and has set up shop. I am counting it as part of her school.

I can't decide what to name this new baby girl! I like two names equally well and want to use them both... which we likely will (one as a middle) but still I can't decide!

She moves A LOT... the most active baby ever! I keep thinking she might take after Addie (our "difficult" baby...) but then again, I am not sure it frightens me quite as much this time around.

Top 10 Posts of 2013

This is what readers read the most on my blog this year.
Its funny, what I wrote most "off-the-cuff" is what others enjoy the most!

Note to self..

:::::

10. Thinking on Adoption Ethics 

(This is my favorite post... partially because it matters greatly to me.)

9. How to Stay Sane While Homeschooling Many 

8. Making a Life Book for Baby 

7. Baby Names with an African Flair! 

6. School Room ~ 2013

5. A Day in Our School at Home 

4. From A-Far 

3. How to Make Story of the World More Like Sonlight 

2. A Ugandan Adoption Story 

1. Re-Thinking Socialization 
(I am totally mystified that this post was read by anyone. 
I am glad it resonated with someone.)


Thanks for reading!
:::

Grumpy Thea

We woke up at 6:38 am and had to be at camp at 6:45... we made it there at 6:50.

That is about 13 minutes... of which we have aproximately 3 minutes drive time.

I got myself and 5 other people ready... 3/5 have matching shirts!

I think I must have bent the space time continuum.

It had one cost however... 

Grumpy Thea.

Laughing at Camp!

We have teenage boys at camp this week.

Today while Eli was unloading the dishwasher I over heard him beat boxing.

It was actually quite good for a 6 year old.

I love our life!

Eli walked into one of our staff meetings... people lined couches and floors. He walked by Shannon, a counselor, and accidentally kicked over her water. He looked at his mistake and then back at Shannon and immediately went and hugged her neck. "Aw's" went around the whole group. It was cute. Then later I asked him why he had hugged Shannon, he said, "'Cause I felt bad I spilled her water and I thought, 'she needs a hug now.'"

Cora was sitting on one of our female staff members laps on 4th of July waiting for the show to start.

The single staff member commented that she wanted fireworks at her future wedding.

Cora gasped and asked when her wedding would be. The staff member laughed and told her she didn't have a man yet.

Cora thought about this apparent problem and said, "You could wait and let the campers (teen boys) grow up and then marry one of them..." We laughed at this notion and and she said, "What? At least they aren't your brothers!"

A few days ago I heard Thea stir from her nap slumber. She started jabbering and then I heard her belt out, clear as a bell, "AIN'T NOBODY -- WAIT-- (clap, clap) -- LOVE ME LIKE JESUS!" 

A few days ago Addie tried some camp food and exclaimed, "SWEET PUMPKIN PIE... THAT IS GOOD!"  (It wasn't pumpkin pie.)

Last night Allan found two straws (he is Mr. Resourceful) and decided that he and his brother should play Capture the Flag with the straws being the flags, so they started playing. A few of our teenage boy campers watched on because they didn't feel like playing basketball with the group. They watched with amusement. Soon Allan had them roped into playing. Then he was very animatedly taking these big 6 foot boys to "jail". They were having such fun together and it was all Allan's doing!

Winnie-the-Pooh and Rabbit

A few days a go I caught Eli and Addie having this little conversation...

Addie: "Eli, you really are just like Winnie-the-Pooh! I love that!" A time passes and Addie continues, "Eli, who do you think I am like in the Winnie books?"

Eli: Thinking... "I think you are a lot like Rabbit... its because you are so sassy."

Addie: Immediately, "I am NOT sassy! I am a leader!"

Eli's point proved.

11 Years ~ The Most Memorable Anniversary

Today Tim and I have been married for 11 years!

My man makes good things great.

He woke me up and made me our very own little cafe breakfast. 

This is a feat of epic proportions while running an entire camp.

We always have low expectations for summer anniversaries.

It was a sweet, sweet time.

However, little did we both know, but someone had a 

little more magic up their sleeves for this special day. 

So much so... I am still in shock!

Today I took Addie over at 3 pm for her drama skills class.

On the way, she kept telling me that I couldn't go in the dinning hall... 

until she had made sure "it was ok." I began to wonder what was up.

Then when we went to leave she very politely asked if she could stay at camp for rec time, which we don't allow if Tim isn't able to be present. I told her "no" and she said ok with a sad tone.

When we went back to camp for dinner she kept telling me, "Mom, will you promise to not go into the dinning hall when we get there? Please? You have to trust me..." 

I agreed and went with it...

When I went in I saw this sign.

Our table was made up with a table cloth, it had a candle and fresh cut flowers!

During dinner Addie arranged for a gluten free meal and it was served to us. 

We had special drinks and were waited on by Addie and staff.

Tim and I sat and actually talked during dinner. We reminisced.

Campers came up to congratulate us.

The entire camp sang to us, signed a card for us and then we had a yummy apple and ice cream dessert!

One of the staff persons who helped Addie pull of this amazing anniversary party came up and told me Addie had come in, arranged it all, saw it got done and intended on helping do it all (before I told her she couldn't stay for rec time). 

Then, tonight when she saw it was all done to her standards she went in the kitchen and told all the staff what "a blessing they had been to her in helping" do all this for her parents!

She also told me, "Mom, I knew how special this day was, I just couldn't get out any old thing in my closet and wrap it up, like I normally would have... it was just too important of a day!"

This is one to go down in the history books folks!

Such a blessed mama!

Such a sweet girl!

Thank you for the memorable day, Addie Ruth.

(We think you could make a killing being an event planner).

Camp Begins

Our life is awesome.
I mean... how many people out there get to help kids from hard places, walk by college students sides as they grow and learn and get to do it in a place like where we live????

Every spring/summer we know camp is starting by one fun event.
Airport pick ups!

I know you are thinking... "Really? That doesn't sound that great."
But it is!

You see, we all go and get on the silliest, most crazy outfit we possibly can.
Some examples are:
- Hillbilly
- Pajamas
- Princess
- Lesure suits
- Hippy clothes
- Wigs
- Pirates
- Knights

Then we all (as many as we can find) go to the DGO airport and stand there.
Everyone waiting in line for security smiles, stares and some ask "What is this?" "Is it a holiday?" "Who are you picking up?" "Are you a theater cast?"

We make people's day... it is so awesome. It makes you realize people need more fun in there lives. They are totally surprised and mesmerized.

Photos From A Last Summer Pick Up... Totally still makes me laugh out loud!

 Here is the Staffer who was welcomed so fondly!

Then the staffer comes through the gate and sees us. At first they are like "Who are those weirdos?" Then they realize, "Oh my! They are here for me!" This look of either horror or delight crosses there face. We even had one guy (who by the way ended up not working out as a staff) totally knew it was us and totally walked right by us... 100% ignoring us. Oh dear!

Then we sing to them or do something equally embarrassing and then give them hugs and welcome them to camp!

Yesterday, everyone else at camp was in a medical training course and one of our favorite returning staffers came in... so Cabin Miller went to pick them up in full CBX style. We made her a sign that read  FRAULEIN MARIA (because that is what Addie called her last year). She knew to expect us and came running to her little welcoming comity with laughs. We wanted to sing "How Do You Solve a Problem like Maria"... but we all chickened out. :-D

Here is Maria picking someone up last summer!

This is why I love camp!

This is why we work at CBX.

Having Brain ~ Random Thoughts on a CrAAAzy Day!

Camp is immediate.
It is upon us.
Plans are being made.
My life is about to change for the 8th consecutive summer.
This isn't always a completely easy time for me and us.

During camp we ask each other questions like...
"If you could have a conversation with any person in all time, who would it be?"
I have never known until today.
Now I know.

Tim is having a needle rammed into this nether region.
He lost his ID today. 
He is in Arizona. 
I would hate to be in Arizona with out my ID... just saying.

But I am here, and he is there. 
Not sure who had a harder day. 
Probably him... But, yet.

I left my purse at home and went to Walmart with the Tribe. 
That was not fun.
Cora said, "Mom, that is too bad. Lets go home and get it and then come back again. Easy peasy!"
Yes, that is what we did.

That was a blessing in disguise because it allowed me 1 HOUR of sweet relief.
No breaking up fights.
No finding messes in a room I've already cleaned.
No having to discipline anyone!
For ONE whole hour.

Plus, I got to listen to Winnie-the-Pooh.
I am pretty sure if Psychiatrist just let a client listen to Winnie-the-Pooh they'd be fixed.

It gives me peace.
It makes me laugh.
Addie is "getting" the humor too.
I no longer laugh alone.
I think AA Milne really wrote Winnie-the-Pooh for discouraged moms...

Things got a bit worse tonight.
The the lambs got "Bloat".
It is all funny to think of a bloated lamb... but until a lamb goes all "bloaty" on your watch, don't laugh!
Don't you dare! 
Their little tummy's looked like over inflated... ready to pop, balloons. 
Then you wonder if they will pop... that is a horrifying thought!

It is deadly, city folks... deadly as bad crack on a dark street... 
(I don't know if that exists, but I was trying to think of something "city folk" might think is deadly.)

I called Mary the lamb lady... Yes, that is her name.
Yes, I find that very funny.
She told me to get a book called "Raising Lambs the Modern Way."
That made me laugh too. 
I think there is a child-rearing book with a similar title.

I tried burping a lamb tonight.*
All time high/low for me.
It didn't burp. 
That was the "low". 

Really, there wasn't a "high" to it... because it I didn't get to see a lamb burp.
Then I used a syringe to squirt a homemade concoction down their little toothed mouths.
Yes, lambs have teeth.
One gagged at me.

It was a day. 
I am ready to give this one back.

I don't know if I need a shoulder to cry or laugh on. 
I'll take an understanding shoulder.

:::::::::::::::

“Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.

"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."

"And he has Brain."

"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."

There was a long silence.

"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything.” 

:::::::::::::::

As of 11 pm the lambs still lived! The bloat was much improved!!!

* Never try to burp a bloated lamb... it isn't the right thing to do! It could cause internal damage (popping of the lamb's innards). That is why I need to read "Raising Lambs the Modern Way"... that was the "unmodern" way to deal with bloat, evidently. Instead, you need to get them up and being active... not joking.

My New Goal In Life and My New Best Friend: The Telemarketer

I am a fairly non-confrontational person.
During our camp personality evaluation I was defined as an "Amiable"... and an extreme one at that.

However, there is one exception to this... phone calls by people I don't know.
Seriously, something sort of disconnects inside my amiable little head when I find out I have answered a call from someone trying to sell, promote, survey or ask something of me. The insanity that took place during the election undoubtedly raised my extremely low blood pressure to scary heights!  But that said, my interactions with unwanted callers has all remained an internal angst I've dealt with once I hang up... which is usually right after, "Hello, is this the lady of the house?" Seriously? Who talks like that? Only a telemarketer... uh-huh.

Today I got such a call...

It all starts with a ring.

I am a good dutiful homeschooling mom and my phone is always (by Murphy's Law) on the floor below my school room. This requires me to do what I like to call my "WOD"... (crossfit "workout of the day"). Honestly, this is probably where about 99% of my angst is developed.

Phone Answering WOD...
(Try it if you like... you will find it very effective for raising your heart rate and scarring your body, but it is effective!).

1. Jump out of my chair, while yelling, "Keep working kids, I got it!" (because for some insane reason I feel that if a phone rings it must, at all costs, be answered... it might be something/one important).
2. I do lunges over to the stairs. I start to feel the burn at this point.
3. I do shuffle-ball-changes down 15 stairs. I hurdle shoes, legos and stray toy cars. All the while trying not to fall, but go fast enough to make it to the phone by the 4th ring... because there is nothing more annoying than getting to it a fraction of a second too late and having the awkwardness of talking to someone while your voicemail rattles on in the background.
4. I do a pivot spin on the landing... this is where it gets sketchy in a terrifying way.
5. I do the leap of death off the last 3 step onto the concrete floor and try not to either catch my flip flop or skid in my socks dangerously akimbo on the smooth deadly surface.
6. I then finish up with a refreshing sprint the entire length of the house to the phone and press "Ok" on the phone as the final tone of the 4th ring sounds. Yay!
7. I answer as least breathlessly as possible, "Hha-Hha-Hhello?"


Then I hear, with great disappointment, that there is no recognition in the voice of the caller... BUMMER! Unneeded WOD!

Caller: "Hello, Mam, Can I please speak with Brum-Drrrm?"

Me: Hmm... Did the phone cut out? Brum-Drrrm... that sure doesn't sound like Marci or Tim to me... better clarify...

"Excuse me, didn't catch that..." More breathless panting.


Caller: "Yeah, is Brum-Drrrm there?"

Me: I am SO good at figuring out things like baby talk, English as a second language speakers, Luganda, Japanese, Spanish, Southern Drawl... small people who don't make sense in most languages. Brum-Drrrm... what could that mean???  (Brain working at decoding) Seriously stumped!

"Can't quite make out who you are asking for... what was that again?"


Caller: Yes, can I speak with Brum-Drrm?

Me: Really? Still "Brum-Drrrm?" (Thinking) What is with this? He can say EVERY other word just fine... OH wait... Tim is known for "punking" people on the phone. He does it about weekly to his elderly dad. Hilariously evil! I won't be a victim!
But yet, this guy sounds like a early 20 year old southern black man. Somehow, I just don't think Tim could pull that off. Indian, yes, Irish, most definitely, Russian any day... Better play this safe, because accusing someone of being ones husband and pranking them could get very weird if it isn't for sure your husband!

"Hm... I still can't figure out what you are saying... Try that one more time slower please."


Caller: I need to speak with Brum-Drrm.

Me: Ok pal, don't know what your deal is, don't want to be mean, but you officially crossed the line... you are now wasting my time. That is thievery at the highest level because everyone knows "time is money" and it is precious to me! I know you are working a job and "someone has to do it..." I gave you more than is due you. I was gracious and patient with you (something I don't muster for most annoying people who interrupt my life). Plus, I am all but certain you are totally being a jerk with your whole "Brum-Drrm" bit! I could have died trying to get to the phone during my "WOD" and my children's education is now becoming remedial because of you and our lengthy little chat. I could lay into you, but I will give you grace... once more.

"Yeah. You know. I have NO clue who 'Brum-Drrrm' is. They don't live here... Sorry."

Click.
(Should have done that after the first "Brum-Drrrm")



Think he'll call back tomorrow?

I am betting (sort of hoping) he will.

I have NOW made it my one and only Bucket List goal to get a telemarketer to hang up on me...

Oh, the limitless ways I could use this to my favor:
I could tell them all about how God took me a great sinner and saved me!
I could use them as personal therapy.
I could share my heart about adoption. Family preservation. Our ENTIRE adoption story!!!
I could run my 42 week homeschool Story of the World plan by him!
I could tell jokes, I really need to practice my timing.
I could have a good cry.
I could practice my Luganda!
I could teach the catechism... LONGER Westminster Confession.
I could even tell them my whole life story... it is very long and somewhat boring in parts. (Even our social worker said that she'd never met someone with "less stuff in their life." Yeah, not sure if that was a compliment or not.)

Smile.
Kind of a mischievous one...

Addie's Words About the Chickens

We lost 6 of our 11 chickens to a fox yesterday... boo!
Today Addie went to check on the remaining 5.
She came in the door with these words...

"Mom! The five are ok! At first I only saw 4 and I started to panic! Then, I found Night Furry, the black chicken! It was such a relief! I was like, 'Whoooa! That was a close one!'"

Then to Allan she said, "Oh! Don't worry, Allanee! I saw Chicken on a Stick #1 and #2... they are fine too!"

My dramatic girl... she makes me laugh.

The New Pet and It's NOT Stupid Name

Eli got a new pet. We also have a dog, "Sadie" 

and a hermit crab named "Lightening" that belonged to Allan. 

He was named Lightening because he has a
lightening bolt painted on his shell... very obvious and logical. 

Eli got a newt... a fire belly newt to be exact.

We all assumed he'd name him "Toothless" 

because he looks like the dragon on the movie... but no.

He named him Poncho. 

Yup, Poncho.

When I asked him why he named him Poncho he said, 

"I looked at him and thought, 'Poncho is a good name.' It isn't a stupid name like Chico..."

Welcome to the family Poncho! 

I am glad we didn't name you something stupid like Chico!

How To Protect Yourself From Big Mini... and a Scare!

Big Mini Explained

Cora and "Big Mini"

Sweet Cora Anne... Oh how you think!

Here is the "back story".
Cora has some fear issues. First it was the evil prairie dogs (out in our field, daily, getting closer). Then it was the "wolf-es" or coyotes who are the all known evil in every child's mind. Now it is something much more sinister... Big Mini!

Basically, Big Mini is a giant rat that lives in the woods behind our house. Big Mini is known to howl and "tump" (thump) around at night. She (oh yes, it is a she) eats babies, moms and dads, horses, dogs, chickens and well, just about anything, according to Cora! No one is safe! She wants to go on a "Daddy Daughter Date" to go shoot Big Mini, then cook her up and eat her. It is the mystery to go down in history!

Big Mini also does things like takes mommy's scissors and cuts up mommy's paper... yeah pretty much everything Cora could get blamed for. She is evil, that Big Mini. I am beginning to think this could be a lost Freudian theory... the Theory of the Inner Big Mini.


I did record her saying all this... I just can't get it up on the blog... working on it.