2017 ~ Christmas Letter

I know. I really haven't written anything since Della was born.
What can I say?
This year has been a hard one.
My time is not my own.

Here's our Christmas letter for the year... it will be a catch up of sorts...

Messy & Beautiful ~ 2017

This seems to be our theme for the year of 2017 … over and over again it’s been the place we’ve found ourselves.  Messy little faces. Life messy and overscheduled. Camp, messy and changing. Messy relationships. A house that’s endlessly messy. The futility of the messy could be maddening if it wasn’t for the juxtaposition of beautiful that glints through the grime.

This old world is endlessly messy. But, through the mess we are better able to observe that God is in the business of making messy things beautiful! This time of year we are reminded of One who came into the messiest of conditions, but came to repair this mess-of-a-world, to wipe away every tear from every eye and make all things new and beautiful! He is the beauty in the mess!

Way back in January, 2017 started off in the most messy and beautiful way possible with labor, great struggles, discouragement and lots of griminess that produced the sweetest of gifts! We were blessed to welcome Della Jane Miller on January 3rd. She weighed in at 8 lbs. 10 oz. and was 19 inches long. Pretty beautiful, right? She has been our great delight this whole year! Her name means “The valley of God’s graciousness” and it’s an apt description of the valley we’ve been walking this year… full of God’s grace even when shadows appear. As we say farewell to 2017 we give our annual report on what happened with those 365 messy days God gave us.  

The Beautiful

Addie > 12 years old  > Events: A highlight for me was being baptized in the camp lake with friend and family around. I enjoyed going to camp and the COLS homeschool session and the relationships I made at both. > New Skills: Learning guitar and getting my own email account. > Thankful For: I’m thankful for getting a new little sister, she’s so little, sweet and loud!

Allan >  11 years old on Christmas Eve  > Events: It was really great this summer to be baptized and to share how I was raised out of death into life. I also really enjoyed going on our church’s men’s camping trip. > New Skills: I’ve learned a lot of skills building our house and I’ve been learning guitar too. > Thankful For: I’m thankful that we have gotten to build our house and how God’s provided that for us!

I know, we were missing one.

Elias > 10  years old > Events: Probably getting baptized was my favorite event. I also liked to meet our new camp staff this summer!  > New Skills: I’ve learned how to be calmer and more thoughtful and I’ve also liked learning to play the guitar. > Thankful For: I’m thankful for my life, getting to be here with everybody, and getting to learn God’s Word.

Cora > 9 years old > Events: I found out I have a type of Epilepsy called Absence Seizures, don’t worry, I’m ok and I’ve learned that God is a good God who’s in control. I was also baptized in the camp lake in June! > New Skill: I learned to perfect my lemon bar recipe, but I tried to make gluten-free ones and it was a disaster! > Thankful For: I am thankful for the friends I made at COLS this year!

Thea > 7 years old January 9th > Events: My favorite event of this year is getting to take music classes and getting to sing! I like to sing! I’ve also grown a lot this year!!! > New Skills: Learning to read and getting to do more school with Maga (Tim’s mom)! > Thankful For: I’m thankful for getting a baby sister to hold! (Notes from mom: Thea’s grown a ton this year and overcome many things. She’s proving to be a superior big sister, kind and loving!)

Whitley > 3 years old > Events: Whitley became a big sister this year! Every day she figures out a new way to get into something. Whit’s the angel-faced kid who’s done all the things no other had the gumption to do! > New Skill: Talking more with her speech therapist’s help! > Thankful For: Paint, sharpie markers, lotion… anything messy. (Whit’s mom is thankful for inescapable pjs that zip up the back, and all the childproofing gadgets that we’ve had to invest in for the first time.)

Della Jane > 1 year old on January 3rd > Events: She was born! She was a week overdue… Mom’s still a little irked about that… but, when she did arrive it was to shouts of joy! It was a good coming! > New Skills: Doing all the wonderful and mundane things babies do! She has 8 people in the world under her chubby little thumb. Her smile is the best. > Thankful For: Milk, all the food and fun siblings to entertain her. We are all thankful for Della’s presence. Having a little one, one more time. She’s unique, new and such a smiley joy-giver!

Marci > So many gray hairs > Events: Had a baby, for the last time … AGAIN (I know, I’m milking that to the end of this letter). Tim and I celebrated our 15th anniversary! The last few years have proven that it DOES only get better. I’ve seen Tim grow and become a grace-filled, imperfect, but self-giving man! Every day I am thankful for how he serves and love our family and those around us. We ended our 7th year of homeschool, I staggered across that finish line so ready to call it and then by August we started our 8th year of homeschool. I was fearful but had renewed perspective and it’s ended up being one of my favorite years thus far! > New Skills: Working on my watercolor and lettering skills… for my wellness! Learned many new skills working on our house. > Thankful For: I’m thankful for my “mother-in-love”, Barbara, who came to stay with us for a month, twice this year to help us, love on us and spoil us! I’m thankful that I am not my own, but belong to God. Endless comfort in that thought!

Tim > Aging finely...says his wife > Events: Cross Bar X, COLS. Many changes there, but looking forward to what lies ahead. Built a house with every other spare moment. It’s not done yet. > New Skills: Wiring, Heating and Air, Drywall, Plumbing… you get the idea. > Thankful For: Family. Growth and challenges. That God doesn't give up and makes all things new.

All our Love  

Marci (for the whole crew)

(Photo Cred > Svatka at Foteem Photography > Who captures the beautiful in the midst of our messy.)

Welcome Sweet Baby Girl!

On January 3rd a little someone came to visit!

She was born at 5:19 am

Measured in at 8 lbs. 10 oz.

19 inches long!

All sweetness and complete joy!

Della Jane Miller

Our bright and gracious gift from the Lord!

Advent ~ 2016

Were studying the BIG PICTURE of God's redemptive plan... it's good news!

Everyone... almost. One is still cooking away. 

Eli's Birth Story

Birth Stats...

Estimated Gestational Age: 40 weeks exactly

5 hours labor, 3 total pushes

7 lbs. 7 oz

Unmedicated, Midwife hospital, 2nd Birth

We decided to have our 2nd child at our local hospital, after having our 1st at a free standing midwife run birth center in Tennessee. We had just moved to a western town, with very open ideas and a long history of midwifery influence. Natural birth and breastfeeding are a fairly normative thing here. We felt confident that the hospital would be both safe and less likely to push unneeded interventions on us. We worked with a well established midwifery practice that practices hospital births. At the time we were also still slightly fearful about home birth or didn’t see it’s benefits. I enjoyed my experience with Southwest Midwives but also found that they did less to help me stay well and healthy and low risk than I had experienced at Lisa Ross Birth and Women’s Center. This frustrated me when I became anemic and when I had regular pregnancy issues. But, overall they were wonderful to work with!

I had a very easy pregnancy that whizzed by. It was slightly eye-opening to go to the required hospital tour and “class” (it was a joke) to see that we were really getting more of a hospital experience than we had before or really intended on. However, we charged ahead because the hospital allowed for the midwives to do water births (in the one tub they had, if you managed to be able to “get it”.) 

The day before my due date I lost my mucus plug and felt crampy. I called my parents who lived 8 hours away and told them they might want to come because we all planned for them to take care of our 2 year old while we were at the hospital. They rushed down. It was a cool late April day and I spent most of it rocking in a rocker and playing with Addie. At one point we walked with Tim over to the camp rec room to change lightbulbs and I had to stop walking and just wait the contraction out. 

My parents arrived at about 5pm and we ate a quick bite of food before going in to “get checked” by the midwife on call, Mary Louise, a veteran midwife who looked very much the part… half grandmotherly, half hippy with long gray braids. She was awesome! At 6pm I was at 4 cm and they said they would admit me because things were happening. 

I managed to get the room with the water birth tub! Thank goodness! It was a busy night at the labor ward. I didn’t get to see my midwife much at all during my birth, which was probably the saddest difference for me between my true midwife assisted 1st birth and this 2nd which felt more like an obstetrical model of care birth. I was handed off to a nice labor nurse who was South African. I remember thinking, “At least her accent is soothing.” She was helpful but busy too. At one point the poor woman next door to me was screaming like a mad woman… I mentioned to my nurse that I felt really bad for her and didn’t she have help. She said that she came in complete, after a fast first labor and they didn’t have time to give her the epidural she had planned on having. It made me so sad she didn’t have options to help her. 

Tim and I walked laps around the labor ward… we were the only ones. Everyone else was in bed and I wondered how in the world they could manage to stay put during labor! I’d make a round, go poo and then make another round. Later, I sat on a birth ball or sway by my bed … at some point the nurse check me and I was amazingly at 7cm and she said “I was allowed to get in the tub now…” I thought that was strange… it wasn’t about what I needed, but about arbitrary rules of how far dilated I was. I got in. It only filled half way before the plug would automatically pop up... at that level it wasn’t very effective … or hot enough. But I managed. 

My midwife checked on me once. Not quite there. Then my nurse came in, took a hook and with out telling me broke the bag of water. I was watching and was like “Hey! What are you doing?” Then she said, “There’s a bit of meconium in the water… you’ll have to get out” Which there wasn’t at all… (I later found out that the nurses didn’t like to deal with the water births and would often break the water without the midwife's present to claim there was meconium to require the mother to get out, weather or not here was was any in reality). Soon my midwife came in an checked me and I was getting “pushy”. The nurse was insistent that I “had to get out” per hospital requirements. The midwife “allowed” me to have a few more contractions in the water. Then they basically lifted me out of the tub and I thought “I’m going to drop this baby out of my on the way to the bed…” Sharing this with the midwife she hustled me to the bed were I literally pushed two or three times and out shot a much smaller baby than my 1st. It was nothing like pushing with my 1st.

The whole thing was sort of surreal-ly easy in comparison, and perhaps part of the reason I had opportunity to judge and critique the hospital experience. The baby was announced, “It’s a boy!” and he weighed in at a very amiable 7 lbs. 7 oz. 7 gms.  We named him Elias Carl after a bit of debate. He as born 20 minutes after 12 am. and really all I wanted was a glass of juice and a goodnights rest with my new baby at that point. But, the hospital had other plans… hearing screening, taking him for a bath (after midnight???) and all manner of requirements! 

As I’m getting patched up an orderly (man) walks right in and starts mopping… I asked that he leave, thankfully my midwife demands he come back later… he did, it was when I was trying to nurse my baby for the 1st time. It was just bazaar. My labor nurse says good bye and a my night nurse walks in. She proceeds to wake me up every hour all night long to take my vitals. Finally, I ask her to let me sleep because obviously I’m fine. It wasn’t fun. We try to sleep… Thankfully Elias does sleep and is amazing! 

We expect to see our midwife in the morning and a pediatrician and get cleared up and get to go home the next day… my after care nurse tells me “she doesn’t have time to help me take a shower” and I might pass out, so I’d have to wait to bathe after birth until I get home (so, I guess I can pass out alone there???). Lots of people coming in and out and just acting nosey in my opinion. I keep thinking, “Who are you? And why are you in my room?” 

Finally, my man tells the next nurse (who was a lot nicer) that we are going to leave by 2 pm and what do we need to do to make that happen… she helps us get out. We drive home… My mom sits and makes sure I don’t pass out while showering… we have a great meal and go to bed and sleep like rocks as Elias only wakes a few times that night. 

Personally, it was a slightly annoying experience, but probably an overall IDEAL hospital experience. I was well cared for (other than not being allowed to shower), not pushed into any thing unnecessary, and our overall wishes were respected. It was just different than what I had experienced before and I could feel the difference. 

On the way home Tim said, "I think we should have our next baby at home..." 

Life the last (few) months

I guess I've been busy!
Last post was in mid September!

Busy is an understatement.

I'm not even sure where to start.

For one... I'm HUGE. Baby is 35 weeks along and I really can't imagine how I'm going to make it to my due date. This one has been a doosy (that's an understatement as well). I've never before felt like I would want to be induced (I still don't) but for real... I can't imagine still being pregnant on December 27th. Lots of prayers for the Lord's help going up all day... and night.

We've taken another trip to Washington to lay my father in law to rest. That was hard, but very sweet.

We've worked a ton on our house. Wish it was almost done... but it will be a long process. We hope to be in it by the end of next summer.

School.

Home.

Camp stuff.

Laundry.

Running back and forth to property.

Tutoring.

Grocery shopping.

Learning lessons.

Life.

It's full. It's good.

My Sweet Bunch

Summer Recap ~ Because I Haven't Blogged Since June

All good summers start with sunshine and smiles...

Addie managed the trading post again and mowed our lawn on her own... The boys later joined her in both tasks and it was a game changer for us! 

Eli took his grandma out on a paddle board. 

We did the Duck Race ... The water was high! Later the EPA spilled 3 million gallons of toxic mine water into our river... True story! 

The camp babies played and we all watched them.

We had mice. This one fell in my sink and couldn't get out. I picked him up with tongs and put him outside. I think he promptly came back in... 

Highland Games at camp, never disappoint. 

Addie baby wearing for the 1st time 

Our friends from TN, the Velkers, stopped for a visit... We have 13 children combined! Loved seeing them and sharing a little bit of life. 

Allan made a new friend 

Camp nurse Justine showed my children how to find out where their poop is located in their bodies by thumping sounds. 

Whitley learned to play the piano...

Then climbed the stairs. 

Knitting class - Year 8! Knit on! 

We all sat and watched babies play some more. 

Camp ended and we went nutso! 

We are currently finishing up our summer 35 Book Reading Challenge! This was Cora's last book... read to Whitley, because it just seemed fitting. 

This summer was a wild one! 

Tim and I had our 13th anniversary. Tim nearly cut his pinky off. We drilled a well, made a road, and made some big life choices. We walked alongside our staff as they did what God put before them. We finally got Thea fully potty trained!!! Glory be! 

I felt like I was riding a bucking bronco, just hanging on for dear life, most of the time. Goodness knows I don't do so well at that, but God was there, ever present, always gracious and might! 

It was real. 

Real good.

Real hard.

Real eventful. 

Real sweet. 

Real God by our side! 

7 Month Moments

I can't believe she is 7 months.

She is all smiles.

So peaceful and happy.

Making people laugh.

Going places, inch by inch scooting or foot by foot rolling.

Sitting steady, but toppling.

Signing "more", "milk", "eat" and clapping... has the beginning of waving.

Having a mini temper tantrum from time to time.

Not a sign of a single tooth.

But, chowing down on pieces of banana, beans, lentils, graham crackers and rice!

Still pulling mama's heart strings every single minute of the day!

Crinkled nose.

Gummy grin.

With all her friends... giraffes are all the rage!

'Til next month.

A Week of Words Around Our Home

Cora  

"Is there quicksand in water?" ... "If someone steps in quicksand we can pray and ask God to help them... That would be the best thing to do, I think." 

"Elias, when someone says 'No.' you don't just stand there saying 'Pleeeeeze.' Everyone knows that that doesn't work... and it annoying!"

"If a man ever tried to kiss me I'd tell him 'I don't do that until I am married, Mr.!' And I wouldn't!"

Elias 

"Hey, look at my back mom. I got a carpet stain on it..." (He meant a rug burn).

Addie 

I (mama) was talking to Tim as we were watching Fantasia and asked "Did you get to watch this too when you had a sub at school?" Addie said "They let you eat subs at school! That's so cool!" 

Allan

"Whitley you are so nice and fat on your legs!"
(True to his African heritage... he loves fatness!)

Thea

"Mom! Cora broke my feelings..."

"Mom? Does that picture make me look like Miss Hannigan?" 

Mama~ "No, honey. Do you think you look like Miss Hannigan in it?"

Thea~ "Yeah... I look funny!"

Green Home

It's cold and icy. But there is a little home that is green and warm where things grow. 

 

Little things are sprouting.

Bigger things are producing fruit.

Little by little every day.

Fish and plants work together to thrive.

The big aquaponics is new and we are just getting the water established with proper levels of nutrients.

The blue tank is thriving and the chard is proof... Brighter colors speak of its happiness and nourishment.

Bok Choy just used in our kitchen was then transplanted from our local grocer finds a place to grow and have another chance at fruitfulness.

 

Celery grows again. A rebirth of sorts.

Our first broccoli grows up toward the light.

The tomatoe "tree"... A combined growing mass of life. Six plants have taken up their own empire in a corner. I use to hate the smell of tomatoe plants... Now it is a fresh and inviting perfume to my nose.

Eggplant kingdom... Still no fruit! We wait in expectancy. Hoping for something to grow where only space is taken.

A heavy fruit, nearly ready. Pink and purple tomatoes are my new obsession.

They grow close together, up a stake and around uplifting stabilizers.

If grown in their own way they'd rot on the ground.

My little green "home" is an oasis!

It's teaching me skills and applications for my own little home.