Money & Adoption - Part 4

 Methods of Fundraising

I gave the disclaimer last time that I am not a financial professional (my husband is probably snickering), really I am about the farthest thing from it. I struggle in this area and really avoid it in all ways. Perhaps that is what gives some of my ideas some stability, because if someone as lousy as I could try to fund raise for an adoption and get through it ok, others can too! Haha!

I think there are many ways to fund an adoption but here are the ones I know the most about…

Traditional Adoption Fundraising –

This would look like starting a blog for the means of getting publicity and to fund raise. You would share your story, try to emotionally touch people, have a little ticker on how much more you need, and a paypal donate button. You’d make an adoption video to plug your family and publicize your adoption. You’d share all the stats you could on the situation your child is coming from. You’d post these everywhere and try to get as many people to view it as possible. You could make a tee shirt with a sweet slogan and sell it for $20 or $30 dollars, or a bracelet or a bumper sticker, etc…

You could host events:

- a family movie night

- a poker night

- a dinner, or sharing a night at a local restaurant

- a benefit concert

- garage sales

- a zumba (or other exercise craze) night at a local gym.

- a run, bike race or athletic event (or ask others to participate in it with sponsors)

- a raffle off items you've had donated with people buying raffle tickets for a set amount (ipads, kindles, jewelry, gift cards).

- a holiday shopping bazaar with donated crafts, items from your child’s country, etc…

 You could sell items:

- coffee

- jewelry

- children’s items

- tee shirts

- books

You could sell symbolic milestones in your adoption fundraising... (ask for donors or sponsors in those milestones):

- You could sell squares to a quilt for your child, each square costing a set amount with the donors name.

- You could sell puzzle pieces that you'd write the name of the donor on and mount and frame later.

- You could sell theoretic miles to getting your child home... every 10 miles costing x amount.

I believe all of these methods DO work, (I have heard many be very successful using this method…) but I think it is only successful for a time.

Why?

I think that eventually people get “mercy fatigue”; they tend to grow weary of hearing about your needs or even become a bit cynical and jaded about it. I even get tired of people promoting their wares or goods or personal business on various sites, as they post them over and over and over… ad nauseam! This sort of fundraising can also lead to people that aren’t in favor of adoption fundraising to be very critical about your other choices and to question your stewardship.

Just consider this, as you do traditional adoption fundraising… don’t over do it. 

I think that is the vital error or most traditional adoption fundraisers!

Business Based Fundraising –

This is the concept of supply and demand… if you make something or sell something of daily, practical or desired value you will undoubtedly make money to which you can just use the profit to put towards your adoption.

Really the idea for things you could make or sell as services are endless! I witnessed a woman sell her graphic and blog design skills and do well! Others make children’s goods (hair bands, creams, clothing, etc…), do photography or make jewelry. I’ve heard of people offering to babysit, clean house, and detail cars. I, personally, sold 2 different books (my Advent book and one for children that was an English/Luganda picture dictionary) and also made jewelry for sale. Like I said in past posts it helped us, but it didn’t fully fund our adoption either.

I think the key is not to say… “What can I make a quick load of money on?” and go and try to do that… but to say, “What am I gifted at and enjoy?” and go do it and use any money that is made off of it to help you. Why? Because unless you are already intending on starting a business or have a high amount of time on your hands, this will need to become a full fledged business in order to net the amount of money you will need to fully fund your child’s adoption. That is a lot of work when you are also trying not loose it during the chaos that adoption adds to your life!

UnFundraising –

This became our method (after failing miserably at “business based fundraising” and periodic attempts at “traditional adoption fundraising”). How it worked… we shared our life, how God was working in and through us in the adoption and left an open door to whoever would want to participate along side us. We prayed and told God about our needs and asked for His help. 

That is it.

Some how it worked… I feel slightly apprehensive even calling it a “method of fundraising,” because really that should be how life is for those of us in the Body of Christ, right?

“All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” Acts 2:44-47

This is how others in the past, like George Muller, operated and it worked for them too. It works because we have a God who works in people, to unify them and to take what is really His and to give it to His people. God wants to be given glory for placing children in families where they will learn about Him and grow up in love and security. God want to be given glory for the good things He does! That is how it works.


Modes of Sharing About Your Needs

If any of my children were separated from me the first thing I would do is share with every friend, face to face, on the phone and through the Internet telling them how they could help us!  My husband has written a staff Fundraising Manual to help our summer and year round staff to fund raise in a Biblical and effective model. One thing I found interesting, but not surprising was; the importance of the mode of sharing about your needs, and the modes that are statistically MOST effective in getting others to join with you as you raise money.

The statistics below describe the way in which a person asks for a "partner," or someone who will give on a regular basis to your needs. The number is the percentage of time that approach succeeded in creating a new supporter:

*One-on-One discussion - 90%

*Small Group - 75%

*Large Group - 60%

*Phone Call - 30%

*Personal Letter - 7%

*Personal email - 3%

*Newsletter - 1%

I think it is clear that the media driven forms are vastly less effective, while people hearing, seeing, knowing your story and your need and desire to get your child home is much more impactful when shared person to person!

Some people ARE impacted via blogs, emails, newsletters and Social Networks,  (and this should and can be used) but I find most of the story you are trying to share will be lost in junk mail, visual overload and among all the more appealing stories of the day.

Early in our adoption fundraising journey we had a benefit concert hosted on our behalf, I don’t think people gave because of the concert but because we stood up and shared about our kids, our love for them and humbly asked others to partner with us in getting them home. It was hard to do that, but it also solidified in my heart why we were participating in adoption, I fumbled and stuttered, but shared my heart for the first time publicly… and God was faithful and helped us bring in some money!

Other Ways to Fund an Adoption

Lastly, there are other ways to fund adoptions. We tried and have participating in several of these (tax returns, grants, contemplated loans).

Ideas…

Federal tax returns

Loans (some offer low or no interest loans to adopters)

Family Loans or loans from private individuals or churches

Grants

Savings/investments

Some Things to Consider

- One thing we always knew would be our last resort was to “cash out” our investments (which is our retirement) and use it, with the understanding that if all worked out right we’d get it back (or most of it) through the Federal Adoption Tax Credit.

- We also knew that if for some reason we weren’t able to finalize before the end of 2011 that we’d not be benefited by this credit because it would no longer be a “refundable” tax… which for our income we don’t often pay out of taxes, so that is a problem others might face in the future unfortunately if they have a low income with higher deductions, like us.

- Some people feel that loans are not something God would ask us to do… you must study and decide for yourself on that. I felt all along that God would be able to give us what we needed as we needed it. It was highly uncomfortable, but well worth it not to have to sign with even a low cost or no interest loan company.

Do Not Be Anxious

Over all, realize this isn’t about YOU and your abilities, strategies or modes. This is about a God who desires to hear you, answer you, and provide for you and your potential child… to bring ultimate glory to Himself! Hand if over to Him, work and do the next thing. Remember that this isn’t something you can control. He will supply what you need through various means, but the glory still belongs all to Him.

Matthew 6:31-32

“Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.”

Philippians 4:19

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

Money & Adoption Series - Part 3

Finding a Faith Centered Perspective

You know I am “big” on perspective. It helps me in oh so many areas of my life. Money is definitely a part of life where I am always challenged to see things through a new perspective, and mainly from God’s perspective.

To be honest, I am not great with money… mainly because I “don’t do math” and part of money is math (I am a genius… I know!). For those of you like me, don’t start to sweat, I am not going to start budgeting or formulate an excel spreadsheet! And those of you who are accountants or auditors or something, well, this isn't about the bottom line (or all the lines in between). We are talking about PERSPECTIVE. Through fundraising/support raising I’ve found a very simple way of looking at money and support raising.

Biblical Perspective on Money

There are 5 important principles to consider about money and fundraising in God’s Word…

1. All things are God’s. (Psalm 24:1)
2. God is the source of all and is sovereign over all things, people and events. (Isaiah 46:10)
3. He gives abundantly, in His will and provides for us. (Matthew 6:25-34 and Phil. 4:19)
4. We need to view money as HIS, not our own, for our own means. We are given the opportunity to be stewards of what God gives us. (Matthew 6:24)
5. Prayer works and matters! Go to God with your needs. Share it with Him and see Him respond to your prayers. (Matt 21:22)

When we need money from others the temptation is to view others as a wealthy benefactor and us as a convincing sales person… we are selling our goal, ministry or project to them. We desire them to give us as much money as we personally want or need.

This isn’t a correct perspective… it isn’t Biblically based on God's glory or on right attitude.

Try this one instead…

Money is a unit of someone else’s labor, time or resources. God gave it to them in their ability to work, time spent doing tasks in a day or as a gracious gift. When we ask others to share this unit of labor, time or resources we are asking them to give us something that God has given them. They may not see it as such, however. But undoubtedly they will at least see it as a resource that belongs to them or has been entrusted to them. We are still accountable for having the right perspective on money/units even if they don't.

When we receive the gift of someone’s labor, time or resource we are taking it and should view it as a gift, both from them and also from God… to be used with care, thanks giving and for God’s glory and will… not our personal desires or material gain. We ask for help from others in money/units because we believe that God has lead us to adding to our family in this manner. We, by faith, are stepping forward both with personal commitment and also with hope in God to work and provide for us and our new child financially. We humbly ask others to come along side us in sharing of what God has graciously given them!

Other People's Perspectives on Their Money and Adoption Fundraising

I think I need to address one important thing. When you go toward fundraising, particularly for adoption, you will most likely receive one of 3 responses, and you need to prepare yourself to respond tactfully and graciously with some of them… in advance.

1. Full and accepting enthusiasm to help and come by your side in this process to financially help you bring your child home.
2. Very strong discouragement towards helping you raise money to bring home a child… perhaps even anger or resentment that you'd ask.
3. Uncertainty or inability to help you as you bring your child home.

The later two have differing personal reasons behind the individual’s logic, feeling or conviction (their personal perspective), one I think not best to assume or make judgments about. Some people have an unbiblical view of their money/units… it is their’s and they are not giving of it for whatever reason. Some people just don’t like or support adoption as a valid or God-given way to grow a family. Others don’t think it is appropriate to ask for help in adding a child to your family, as that is typically not done with biological children. Some people will not see it as a way that they personally can help and further God's will. And some will not be called by the Holy Spirit to be stewards of their money in helping you personally.

When we stop worrying about our abilities to get money from others and respond in faith and obedience to work and walk with in the Holy Spirit we are also understanding that, similarly, individuals on the giving side of fundraising are too, simply trying to walk in faith and obedience through the giving of the money God has provided them. Both the fund raising and giving sides need to have a faith-based perspective that seeks to participate within the work of the Lord alone. In many ways they are very similar places to be, both acting in faith and looking to God to do His will with what He gives and provides for us!

Personal Perspective: Stewardship

I mentioned last time that we are also to use money/units with the utmost care… minimizing the need to live outside our means. This is where you put your values in line with your choices and money management. This is the concept of “stewardship”. What do you value more: getting your child home, making the most of other people’s labor units or your personal comfort and desires?

If anyone of my bio (and now adopted) children were separated from me I know I wouldn’t even once consider if my coffee expenses were worth eliminating to get them home or if I ought to go spend $100 getting my hair cut and colored. I wouldn’t think how that would affect my comfort or desires.  I’d get rid of it out of good stewardship and also because I fully understand what is at stake… my child.

Some ways to practice stewardship are to eliminate "life-style expenses"… we don’t need these things to live, but we think they make our life easier and more enjoyable. 

I really don't think a family can, in good conscience, approach others asking for money if they haven't first eliminated life-style expenses from their spending. The meaning of stewardship is making the most of what is available to you, first of your own money, then of other's that is given to you!

Some ideas are of things to eliminate:

·      Additional phone lines, call waiting, caller ID (doing this saved us nearly $200 a year)

·      Gym memberships ($500 yearly savings)

·      Coffee shop spending… make your own. ($780 yearly savings)

·      Cable or Satellite TV, watch shows online, instead. ($250 yearly savings)

·      Eating out… you’ll probably lose some weight too. ($2800 yearly savings)

·      Preschool and childcare… teach and care for your kids at home. ($6000 yearly savings).

·      Find a babysitter who will bless you with this care... grandma, aunts, or a friend you can childcare share with. ($600 yearly savings)

·      Downsized your grocery/food budget by $100 a month… (that is $1200 a year!)

·      Beauty treatments, hair care, nails, massages, pedicures, etc…($720 yearly savings… at least).

Make a list of all your monthly expenses and try to cut out all the things you really don't need. If you eliminated all of the above from your monthly expenses for one year, you’d save around $13,000… (That is, if you spend money on these things and would eliminate it fully from your expenses). 

That is mind-boggling to me!!!

That is nearly half of most adoptions!!!

Another aspect of stewardship is giving thanks and gratitude to others for their help, support and giving. It is highly discouraging to give something to someone or to serve someone in some way and not be appreciated for it… even if you are not doing it to get attention or gratitude. It is ungrateful and selfish.

One thing that I wrongly assumed was that I should wait until our children got home to thank people… to show the results, so to speak. I really don’t think that this was the best choice for two reasons: 1. I forgot who helped us, and getting thank yous out with new little needy people around is HARD, 2. Thanks should be immediate and genuine. I don’t think that it always has to be in writing, but I would say either a call or a hand written letter is the best and most genuine form of thanks (email doesn’t cut it).

Perspective on Adoption and the Need

My last bit on “perspective” is that the adoption process requires a perspective that is often sort of missed, both by others and at times even potential adoptive parents. 
We tend to separate ourselves from the reality of what adoption is… because it is painful.

You have a child who is separated from you!

Your child (and you) are in pain, turmoil and trauma from this separation!

Children are created to grow up best in families! And you believe this child is to be your son or daughter!

You are doing everything YOU can to get your child to you, but you need help!

Will others join you?

Really, this is all that needs to be shared. That and only that!

We will talk more next time on sharing your story/need with others and what methods you can use to both make money though work/sales and to help people respond to your needs through giving.

And, wow, that was A LOT... if you are still with me, thanks for getting through it... this was the "tough" stuff!

Money & Adoption Series - Part 2

Our (Financial) Adoption Story

In adoption (mainly speaking of domestic infant or international programs from here on out) one can count on specific expenses. I can only talk about our program and nation, but our expense list featured:

Homestudy and various agency fees

Background checks/finger prints

USCIS – Federal background and approval

Placing agency fees (which we didn’t have)

Lawyer fees (which would be included in Placing Agency fees for most)

Baby home donations

Mailing and document expenses

Visa fees

Medical expenses

Travel expenses

Finalization and new document fees (ie US birth cert, passport, certificate of citizenship)

A rough estimate for our total expenses for TWO kids and 3 international trips was over $25k… really not bad, we hoped for less, but would have gladly given more! Nearly every international nation ranges for one child in the $15-40k range… with most being around $22-26k.

Tiny Side Note:

Please… please never ask an adoptive parent, “How much did they cost?”  People don’t cost something, that is unless you are a slave trader, but I haven’t yet met an adoptive parent who worked in that profession. As you see above, NONE of the money is “for” the child… it is the legal and immigration process that costs something.

Here is our story of how we (financially) got our kids home…

Initially we committed to personally funding our home study, federal approval and the initial “retainer” for our lawyer (exactly the same as an agency would have done had we used one). We had nearly exactly that amount in savings, minus the retainer for our second child. We felt like doing this was important for us and also to approach people who we might ask to help us… to show our earnestness in moving forward… our “earnest money” as it is often put. As I shared previously we have a unique situation in life, we support raise our salary and work in a missionary like lifestyle. Asking others for money to do that is one thing, asking them for more was entirely different thing. We prayed a lot about what God would have us do… and how to best respect, show thanks and also understanding to our current supporters. We were unsure for some time, but wanted to “get as far” as we could on our own.

After we finished our homestudy, federal approval and initial lawyer fees we still had some where in the ballpark of $10k to $13k we knew we’d still have to pay for. This was our second half of our lawyer fees, our full travel expenses (which would include 3 full round trips, lodging for 9 weeks, food, driver, and various fees), medical evals, Visas, and finalization in the US. It was scary to look at our excel spread sheet and see those things still blank and know full well that they would have a number needing to be paid very soon!

As stated we are not new to living off of the goodness of provision of others, and a HUGE element of that is making a concerted effort to live IN one’s means and to make the most of what you are graciously given… and that requires giving up, sacrifice and also creativity. I knew I’d need to work for this too, even if that meant working at giving things up or at using what we had, when we were given it to its full potential.

What we intended to do was NOT ask for help (I’ll speak about some “models of fundraising” later,) but for various reasons we didn’t want or feel it was right to straight up ask people to help us, like we do for our ministry. So, I intended on selling products that people might have use of and making money via that means.

It was a great idea… it works for many, but… it didn’t work for us.

I don’t know if I am just a really bad sales person… yep.

Or if what I was selling wasn’t of interest… nope.

I probably made a total of 6 or so hundred dollars… which was good, it paid for a bit more than 1 of our children’s visas… (I like to look at it concretely).

But what I did see that “profited” us was that as we simply shared our joy and excitement about our new children… that excitement lit something in specific people and they were led to share of their money (or of what God provides them) with us, to bring our children home! 


We were needing money for our second child’s “retainer” (with our lawyer) and it was several thousand dollars, we didn't have it. Out of the blue some friends who we knew in college emailed and said they had some extra money that month and wanted to share it with us. Another former staff person had siblings who came to their family via fostercare and now they lived in a nation where adoption is impossible, so they gave us a thousand dollars. One day I got an envelop with 2 hundred dollars and no return address, at Valentines day with a pink construction paper note sharing the love. One time 4 sweet boys gathered up all their vacation trip spending money and gave it to us (they snuck it into our can of change our kids were saving up to hopefully buy their brother's plane ticket home, I think because they knew we'd never except it from their hands). Others gave in regular amounts over the course of months, faithfully. Some just handed us a twenty dollar bill and said, “I know it isn’t much but I don’t need it and I know it might help…” Oh, it did! It all did.

Other friends said, “I can’t give you a large amount, but we could loan it to you at no interest…” What a loving and gracious offer… one we are blessed to receive and also thankful we didn’t need to use.

It came in small (or at times big) spurts, always right before it was needed.

After some time I started thinking of these provisions as “manna”… the food that was provided to the Israelites on their journey, only when they needed it, and only enough to provide for that day’s need.

God is faithful, sufficient and always right on time!

I am crying as I type this… the sweetness and genourousity of God and His people are a delight to receive. It makes me giddy and humble all at the same time!

Near the end, when we knew we’d soon hear about a court date, we were coming down to “the wire” and had to prepare to pay for our trip/s. We resigned ourselves to the fact we’d have to pull a large portion of our investments/retirement out or say yes to some of those offers of a loan. It had always been something we knew God might require of us, and we were committed to doing it, if that is what needed to be done!

One day I asked in prayer, “God is this what you want? We will do it, just show us that there are no other options”.

Soon after we heard from a small local congregation (not even our own) who meets in homes... they wanted to help a local family bring home a child and they would rally around us!

Sure enough, they did. They personally paid for our first trip and then helped us raise enough money for our additional trip through a local run “River Run for Orphans”… we were humbled… so very humbled! They worked and gave along side us at the time we needed them most. It was confirmation of the greater Body of Christ!!! I have never been so thankful and humble as I was when they said, "We are glad you shared your story so passionately, but we already decided a while ago to help you, here is $4000 dollars!" They single handedly really "got our kids home." 

Once we got home we picked up the baton again and have paid for all the finalization, again, because we were able.

How is this About Fundraising?

I know our story isn’t so much about fundraising as it is about God’s great provision. I’ve struggled to know how to help others through our story, because of this. We know how to fundraise, but that wasn’t the means in which we were able to get the funds we needed. I think God did this to show us what He impressed upon us WAS true in a very real way that made us have to rely on Him alone. Our fundraising didn’t work, so HE and His people had to!

I also think that we had some sweet confirmation that God wouldn’t ask us to do something He wouldn’t help us with! He could have helped us by making our sales profitable. He could have just kept people sending us money. He could have helped us get a grant or helped us in other ways.

A sweet friend recently wrote me saying, “Marci, just last night my husband and I were talking about how we never 'should have' been able to afford our adoption. It would never work out on paper, but the Lord provided!”

That is how it was for us too… on paper it didn’t make sense, but it worked out. I know a lot of you are saying/thinking, “That is ok for you, but I can’t live like that…”

I get it, I know it is hard. If we did it again I know I’d have JUST as much anxiety in the money aspect, even having experienced some pretty amazing things that we have. That is our propensity, isn’t it? I just want to challenge you, “Do you believe in a God who literally owns it all and has NO limits of resources available to Him? Do you know how HE views money? And if you do, how does that change how you think and how you act towards it?”

We’ll talk about perspectives (mainly biblical ones) on money next time.

Money & Adoption Series - Part 1

We Are the Perfect Example of People Who "Couldn't" Adopt

It is true. We could have said very honestly, “We would love to adopt, but we just can’t afford it.” 

We felt that way, for sure, the whole way through, but also knew that we are children of a God who has said He owns, “the cattle on a thousand hills.” We thought if we truly believed that, we’d not be doubtful one moment that He would be faithful to sell a few of those cows for us to bring our kids home! He also says He is the God who "sets the lonely in families." We believed Him on these two matters and asked Him humbly to prove it to us. It was still very hard.

Here is the deal with us. We are your standard domestic missionaries, we work, live and serve at a camp for low income and underprivileged youth at a seasonal camp that only charges $40 per camper, per session of camp. We teach the Gospel and share Christ’s love with kids who come from hard places, many of whom are foster kids (but any child may attend our camp, we just reserve first for those with the most need). Our camp provides us a very nice house to live in, benefits and retirement. We raise our salary through support raising. We just entered our 10th year of raising support. We have had ups and we have had downs.

We make plenty of money to live in a relatively comfortable way, and with an ability to provide for more children, but also we make so little on paper that we could theoretically apply for public assistance… not joking!

We LOVE our life and would never want to do anything else... even for more money!

But, when we decided that adoption was a way we wanted and felt God asking us to grow our family, our first thought was, “How? This looks impossible, God. We ALREADY raise support just to put food on our table... How God?"

The Varying Ways or Avenues of Adoption

We knew that it was important to go where we felt God leading us, but also make good choices based on what we could financial "hack". The process of figuring out the method and avenue through which we'd adopt took a long time for us (we are talking nearly years).

Not all forms of adoption are equally costly… but they are ALL costly. 

What I mean is that adoption (or each form of it) can be costly in one, several or all of these ways: 

Financially

Emotionally

Time and Requirements

But, since we are just talking money we’ll stick with that (cause describing the others could make this really long.)

The seemingly least expensive (financially costly) would be through your State or County Foster Program, or via Waiting Child lists in the US. This is low-cost, high need and at times emotionally costly form of adoption it is one of the best options out there, for those who truly feel "we would love to adopt, but can't afford it."

International adoption ranges widely in cost and requirements, as does domestic infant adoption (via birth mothers) … but both are sort of equivalent in this range of cost and requirement (most ranging from $16-40k).

We made our decision based on several factors, primarily we felt like we wanted to adopt a child that would normally have NO chance at having a family and in a forum that kids were waiting for families and not the reverse. That led us to international adoption. Which I will admit was costly for us in all three areas, and had the added burden (and eye opening blessing) of the  struggle of ethics... though I think when you get down to it, all three forms of adoption should always be very carefully evaluated ethically, given a child's particular case.

We were able to be approved on our financial situation by the Federal Gov, because they looked at our TOTAL financial situation… our salary, savings, investments, credit, and our ability to live on what we make in relationship to what we have provided for us. We were approved!!! That in itself was a huge provision from God!

So when people say, “I would love to adopt, but there is just NO way we could afford it…” I internally laugh. 

Not because I doubt them, quite the contrary, but because I know that if ANYONE could say that; it was us!  

(Recently I've been hit up for ideas of how to make adoption "work" financially for various families. I'll be sharing over the next weeks how we were able to bring our kids home, how things went for us and how to approach fundraising for support.)

Part 2 

Part 3

Part 4

A Sneak Peek!

I have a little something up my sleeve.

It will help families, children and help us get our kids home....

It is due to release August 1st, 2011