My Sweet Bunch

Summer Recap ~ Because I Haven't Blogged Since June

All good summers start with sunshine and smiles...

Addie managed the trading post again and mowed our lawn on her own... The boys later joined her in both tasks and it was a game changer for us! 

Eli took his grandma out on a paddle board. 

We did the Duck Race ... The water was high! Later the EPA spilled 3 million gallons of toxic mine water into our river... True story! 

The camp babies played and we all watched them.

We had mice. This one fell in my sink and couldn't get out. I picked him up with tongs and put him outside. I think he promptly came back in... 

Highland Games at camp, never disappoint. 

Addie baby wearing for the 1st time 

Our friends from TN, the Velkers, stopped for a visit... We have 13 children combined! Loved seeing them and sharing a little bit of life. 

Allan made a new friend 

Camp nurse Justine showed my children how to find out where their poop is located in their bodies by thumping sounds. 

Whitley learned to play the piano...

Then climbed the stairs. 

Knitting class - Year 8! Knit on! 

We all sat and watched babies play some more. 

Camp ended and we went nutso! 

We are currently finishing up our summer 35 Book Reading Challenge! This was Cora's last book... read to Whitley, because it just seemed fitting. 

This summer was a wild one! 

Tim and I had our 13th anniversary. Tim nearly cut his pinky off. We drilled a well, made a road, and made some big life choices. We walked alongside our staff as they did what God put before them. We finally got Thea fully potty trained!!! Glory be! 

I felt like I was riding a bucking bronco, just hanging on for dear life, most of the time. Goodness knows I don't do so well at that, but God was there, ever present, always gracious and might! 

It was real. 

Real good.

Real hard.

Real eventful. 

Real sweet. 

Real God by our side! 

On Being a Camp Kid

Another amazing and growth producing summer lays before our family... it all starts up on Monday!

I've never known mothering without camp-family-ing.

This past year I realized something.
Being a camp kid is a unique (little understood) childhood.
There are some big expectations that are placed upon camp children that are not always understood by onlookers or fellow staff who haven't had older children yet.

Here's the top 8 things my children want you to know about what it's like to be a Camp Kid in a Camp Family...

(I did ask them... but expounded on their thoughts a tad bit)

1... We absolutely LOVE our life and what we do! We know we are blessed to participate in what happens every summer at CBX. We look forward to it all year long and are sad to see it go when it's over! We are thankful for our home and where we get to live. Not many kids get to LIVE at camp! We enjoy serving at camp together and seeing kids grow and learn and heal! We LOOOOOVE the people we work with... Both full time staff and seasonal staff!!! They are our family and we cherish the special community we have with them. CAMP ROCKS!

2... We LIVE at camp. It is more our home than it is camp to us, even if it isn't suppose to be. Sometimes that means we struggle to know just when and how to switch our behavior based on varying situations. Every once in awhile we go crazy and draw on the walls or make a mess or even go in the kitchen when we know we shouldn't ... Because it's our home and not just a camp (or work environment) to us. 

3... We love the camp community, probably most of all! With community comes conflict and sometimes we are a part of it. We get sassy or short with an adult we know we normally should treat with respect, or we make a mess or put ourselves before others... Basically, we are sinners. We need grace, forgiveness and compassion. But, hey! With that, we are pretty skilled at extending that back to you when we are overlooked, treated/managed like a camper or when others are plain sinful to us! It's a sweet part of being in community!

4... At times we go through seasons of feeling like we are missing out. See, we are part of camp, but at the same time we really aren't. We aren't staff... We are too little to be included in many "staff" things. We aren't campers... And miss out on all the fun, even though we fully understand we do this thing for them! But we see everyone having SUCH a good time and we can't help but feel it stinks to not be a staff or a camper!!! Being a camp family can be a little lonely at times. 

5... Being a camp kid is SUPER tiring at times. We feel we have to be our very best all the time and like expectations of us are very high. Sometimes we've been kept up late the night before at staff meetings or Bible studies or campfires and some times we get up WAY too early for devos. Then again some time counsellors or staff feel the same way... Just wrung out! Please realize when the summer is challenging for adults, that it does the same thing to us... We are just littler and worse at coping with it. 

6... We feel like we own CBX... Not because we are entitled or bossy... but, quite honestly, because it's all we've ever known! We love this place! We are fiercely proud of it. Sometime our zeal for this place and what we know of it spills out and we feel like telling staff or campers where to go... Both literally and figuratively. We don't need to be put in our place, but we might need a gentle reminder that we have a place.

7... Sometimes there are too many cooks in the kitchen. Not the camp kitchen... But authorities in our life. Our mom and dad are the main people we take direction from, God designed family to function best that way! Our parents are believers in the idea that we should learn from other people besides them. We need to know that if we are doing something out of line that we will be held accountable, but we don't need to be over-managed by too many people. AWKWARD (as Addie would say). But things happen. If in doubt, go to mom... It is a win/win for us all because we are better corrected by our parents and you avoid any awkwardness of correcting us in a way that doesn't help us grow as the unique people we are!

8... Know we "get it". When we see someone struggling or hurting we stop and our family prays for them (for real... we do this!) We know that CBX campers have hard lives and that our staff struggle along side them. We are aware of the reality in which our campers and staff live ... even at our young age and it hurts us too! We've gotten to know campers, they are our friends, they return every year and we often know them longer than summer staff does. We question God and feel broken for them or wish we could make their lives better too! Know we understand this even though we are little, we get the depth of your struggle and hurt.

 We can't wait for another amazing summer!

We can't wait to get to know you, grow along side you and see the amazing things God does in and through you!

Thanks for hearing what it's like to be a camp kid in a camp family! 

Dear New Mama,

I heard you say the other day something to this effect, "I can't even get my laundry done, and I only have one baby ... I have no idea how you do it with six children!"  You said it with a defeated, shame-filled tone and my heart hurt for you because I remember feeling the same exact way 5 children ago.

First of all, who says I get my laundry done? Laundry is never done... not when you have 1 or 2 children and definitely not when you have 6! Now that that is cleared up, we can move on.

I get what you are saying, however, I use to say the same thing to my friends who had more children. Then I had 3 children, and then 5 and then 6, and I realized a simple fact of life...

Life as a mama always has its challenges... but it also always has its beauty and joys!

You see, it doesn't work like we'd assume... that once you've had 3 or 4 or 6 that one day it just gets easier and you've got it made, you'll figure out the secrets of mothering, managing a home or doing all things related to this season of life. On the other hand, it also doesn't work (as some might assume) that the more children you have the harder it gets. It's based less on numbers and more on personal capacities growing and changing...

We all start somewhere.

For starters, when I had our 1st baby it was even more challenging to me than it has been to add our 6th baby. It was more challenging because my perception and the level of my capabilities were being radically changed in life-altering ways! You know how it is, life literally changed overnight! Motherhood has a initial steep learning curve.

As each of our children joined our family it wasn't that steep of a curve, but with each and every addition I was pushed to a new maximum functioning capacity. I was able to have 2 children because I had had 1 previously. I was able to have 3 because I had had 2, and so on. Basically, our current abilities are to some degree built upon our previous experiences.

Today, I am very much at the same emotional and functional capacity level I was at 10 years ago when I had my 1st child in that I am still functioning at my own maximum capacity. While it has broadened in scope and capacity, it is still the farthest my scope has ever reached ... just like you are with your one or two. We are very much in the same place, you and I.


For sure, since then, I've learned a whole lot!

I've learned that if you let Cream of Wheat dry on a high chair tray it will be there the day Jesus returns for us, so scrub it off immediately after breakfast!

I've learned that you can just flat out ignore that drawer under you oven... it doesn't exist and no one will open it (not even your husband) and you can worry about other more important things like finding all the possible hidden choking hazards in your home or if your baby's head is the correct size or not.

I've learned that sometimes it is better to spend your day holding a fussy or sick baby than doing anything else, because that day is only given to you once and babies grow far too quickly!

I even have managed to learn how to not let our laundry literally bury us alive ... unless: a) we have the stomach flu or any other illness,  b) we've returned from a trip, or c) it is a national holiday. I hope one day to learn to manage it even under those variables.

Perhaps most importantly, I've learned that this whole mothering gig isn't entirely up to me. My days as a mother are crafted by One who knows my abilities, seeks to grow me into someone more like Christ and also hand picked all my children for me specifically to mother. And while I am still at my farthest scope of abilities after a while I have begun to see the fruit of my labor... little by little.

Mama of 2 with #3 on the way ...
Three littles in 3 and a half years was challenging!

Additionally, I've discovered that no matter how much I learn given my previous experiences, children are always growing, enter new phases, changing and things are always new and contain challenges of their own. Life as a mama isn't formulaic. What worked with one child may not with the next. What use to work with one child will fail to work as they grow and mature. We must grow and change right along side our children. We don't "get it all figured out" one magical day just because we've tried really hard to crack the parenting code by reading enough books, feeding them the right food, training them the prefect way. It just doesn't work like that.

Realize when you feel tempted to think, "I should be doing better because, that other mom is doing better than me with her 5 or 6 children..."  kind of thoughts, that that doesn't serve either of us well. When we make comparisons like this, we do so by giving ourselves the short end of the stick and bestowing much more grace on others than is realistic.

What I try to remember is that the struggles I face today are just part of this particular season as a mother. Seasons change, with them we grow, they grow and things mercifully change. It won't always be "this hard" or even "like this". Things will change and when they do things will simply be different.

Our short (4 week) period of time as a family with 4 children!

When I struggle the most it is usually because my expectations and desires are incongruent with the reality around me.

My messy house grates on my expectations of order, beauty and perfect functioning.
My crabby, sassy, disobedient children expose my irritable, snarky and sinful self.
My plan for today, to accomplish x, y and z, is derailed and exposed as unrealistic by the reality of the urgent that unfolds around me.

Expectations (particularly unrealistic ones) don't help us mamas.
In fact, they can be our true nemesis! They tend to wear us down. They make us feel defeated and incompetent.
Much like "worry" they don't accomplish anything of true worth. They tempt us to look at the 10 things we have to do in a given day with defeat and irritation instead of doing the one next thing well and with love.
They most often simply deceive us from our real God-given purposes and they rob us of the joy of participating in the beauty that is present in the reality around us!

Much of motherhood is about surrender. Giving up and laying down of self.
In laying down of my personally imposed expectations I've found I feel a whole lot lighter, more free and able to do the things that have been placed before me with more grace and love.

My meditation of mothering has become, 

"Do the next thing and do it with love."

Wow, that mama sure looks like she's got it all together...
Sometimes I wish I could be that lady.

I fail most days, many times a day at this, but going to God in my brokenness and asking for help makes it not only possible, but beautiful!

I remember this verse when I feel defeat creeping up on me, 

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, 

for in due season we will reap, 

if we do not give up.

So then, as we have opportunity, 

let us do good to everyone..." ~ Galatians 6:9-10

So, new mama ... know that we are so very much alike!

We are both doing big things, working hard and loving the people God has given us.
We are pushed to our own maximum every single day.
We need God's help and we need each other.

Thanks for walking this road with me!

Tree Hunt ~ 2014

 

The Closing of the Summer

Camp is in it's final days for the summer of 2014. 

That is sweet and sad all at the same time. 

It's been a good one! 

This summer we've had some great times,
both as a camp family and
also with our greater "family" of full-time staff and summer staff!

We've seen campers grow and change...
God going big in little lives.

It is almost addictive:
Seeing God work...
Experiencing his power over sin and brokenness and the vast extent of his grace!


Thus ends our 9th summer at Cross Bar X!
I already can't wait for our 10th!

Knitting Jesus

In our program at Cross Bar X we do a portion of our day called “skills classes”. During this hour long block of time we teach our campers a definable skill that they can leave camp with. Often  it is things like auto repair, carpentry, baking, fitness, music or such. We have this built in to our schedule and believe fiercely in it because we know many of our campers don’t always get to learn hands-on, real life skills, because of the environment they live in and the struggles their families face in just surviving and making it each day.

I've taught our middle school and high school girl campers a knitting skills class for the last 7 or so summers. In knitting class the campers get their very own set of knitting needles and a skein of yarn to take home. It is always a highlight of my summer, and not one camper has failed to learn to knit after my skills class!

But, it is also about whole lot more than just knitting! One thing I quickly discovered is that while we knit often the campers start to unravel their stories a bit, share their lives and struggles and concerns. I’ve learned things that are deep and profound during our knitting classes about the lives of our campers. I’ve also gotten to share a lot of hope and truth of the Gospel as needles click and yarn is unwound.

This week we had 5 middle schoolers join Joyce (my fellow co-hort/teacher, and our favorite volunteer RVer) and I to learn basic knitting. During the week, one girl, "Dee" from Albuquerque shared that it had been her dream to learn to knit. I sort of snickered at her confession at first, thinking she might just be being a dramatic pre-teen... but then she shared that when she was little she'd see people knitting on TV and she'd go find pencils and string and pretend to knit... she shared how excited she was to learn! 

Excited she was! Through out the week she took off and really showed herself to be a natural with yarn and needles. Each class she made huge progress and wanted to learn more. In addition, to learning to knit herself, she served as translator to a fellow non-English speaking classmate. Her and I basically taught another girl to knit via translation, when my simply worded English didn’t cut it. It was amazing to see how well we all managed that little challenge between the two of us! 

Today was our last class. She showed up to class with a completed scarf…. lovely and without imperfections. Before the class she pulled me aside and said, “I know this is asking a lot, but if you have extra yarn could I take it home with me to do more?” I said I "wasn’t sure, but we’d see", as I want to keep things fair and not make other students feel bad for not getting another skein of yarn too. 

In class I showed her how to finish (bind off) her scarf and she sat happily with it around her neck just watching others knit with a smile on her face. I slyly passed her another skein of yarn and she beamed and started right off knitting another. 

After class I left and was about to get in my car when up ran “Dee” saying, “I just wanted to tell you how thankful I am for your time and that you cared about teaching me to knit! It really was my dream, I know that sounds silly, but I’ve always wanted to learn, but I never knew anyone who could teach me! Thank you so much! I know you didn’t have to spend your time with us, that’s really cool of you to care about kids like that…” She hugged me twice and ran off waving her completed scarf in the air. 

Cross Bar X typically exists to share the Gospel… I have found, however, that often it is little things, like learning to knit, that allows kids to feel the love of Jesus. There is something about time and intentionality that opens hearts and breaks down walls. While I didn’t get to talk with Dee about Jesus, I know she felt loved and special and really if that was all she left camp with I'd call that a sweet success! The great thing is that I know, in addition to learning to knit, she also learned about God and his love (not just from me) but from her counselor and many of our other staff and Bible teachers. 

I am beyond thankful that God has allowed me to live and serve at CBX. 
Here our family gets the opportunity to be the hands of Jesus... the ones that knit up in love. 

“That their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” Colossians 2:2-3

A Convo with a Camper

One of my favorite parts of camp is getting to talk to and know campers... they are interesting and funny little people!

For example, this week, I was helping Addie at the new Snack Shack when a camper asked if the jar of lucky rabbit's feet stunk... I let her smell it (it smells like moth balls). She "ewwed" and a boy by her said he wanted to smell... he smelled and gave his opinion, "That's not so bad... it just smells like a urinal cake..."

Then another girl came up and told me about the time she was staring at a goat on her grandma and grandpa's farm and the goat charged her and gored her... she said "I was ok. But I have an extra belly button now..."

A pretty slender girl, who caught my attention from day one because of her elaborately braided and beaded hair, came up while I sat knitting and asked, "Whatcha making?" I said, "They're baby booties..." She said, "They're WHAT?" (obviously taking the more vernacular form of the word "bootie"). I smirked and said, "A baby bootie... it is like a little shoe, but they're called 'booties'." She collapsed in a fit of laughing... she's been my friend all week long and keeps asking "How's those baby ... shoes coming along?"


Then there are times I know God is leading the conversation.

One morning each week Tim and I take "morning round" duty while the counselors are at staff devos. We walk around and ensure campers are safe and not getting into trouble. This week I had to go down to an isolated cabin because the girls were using it. I sat outside enjoying the rising sun and brisk fresh air. Then a little friend joined me. She looked down at my round belly and said, "How many kids do you have?"

I said, "Well, I have 5 and this baby will be number 6."

She thought, "That's a lot to take care of! When you have kids you have to take care of them..."

I agreed with her logic and moral reasoning.

She said, "How do you do that if you work a job? Who takes care of them all?"

I explained, "Your right, but thankfully my only job is taking care of my children... I don't have to work a job outside my home because my husband takes care of us and provides for us with his job here at the camp..."

She said, "Well I am glad you take care of them..." (At this point I am beginning to realize that the concept of "taking care" of children is a big deal to this little girl.)

I say, "I am too... but mom's also need to love their children too... not just take care of them."

She was thoughtful.

I said, "Who takes care of you?"

Her reply, "I have foster parents that I live with."

I ask, "Do they take care of you?"

"I guess so..." was her shrugged reply.

I couldn't bring myself to ask the next logical question... "Do they love you?"

She then volunteered, "Yeah. My mom didn't take care of me... that's why I have foster parents."

She then asks the question I know is on her little heart, "Two of your kids don't look like your other kids... are they foster kids?"

I say, "No. They aren't. They're my children ... but they joined our family through adoption. Do you know what adoption is?" She nods. "If you are wondering (because I know she is), I love them SOOO much! God put them in our family and we are SO thankful He did... even if I didn't have them like I am having this new baby... I love them just the same!"

She then gives me guarded approval through side cast eyes, "Ok. That's good."

Then we get interrupted. God provided that moment for a little girl to learn something she needed to hear. Then it was over.

I realize new every summer that our greatest form of ministry at camp is simply living as a family, intact, functioning, loving and sharing real life in front of our campers. We sit and eat, as a family, in under their watchful eyes. We correct and teach our children as they observe. We worship together, as a family, and go to lessons. We relax and tickle and horse play on the grass after dinner as they mill around and even join in!

I was tempted in previous summers to feel like I ought to be "doing something", "serving more", "contribute something of value" to the ministry of Cross Bar X. It use to really eat me up because I felt like I've never really had "a place" to serve that I had impact or really fit my gifting.

At some point last summer I realized that I was already doing exactly what God intended for me to do at Cross Bar X... to simply live as a family in front of kids who don't often see functional ones around them.

He's called me to just be a wife and mom to my husband and children. To simply talk to kids, ask them questions and follow the lead of the Holy Spirit. To love those around me well and share that love openly.

That is why conversing with campers is one of my main "ministries" at camp...

Camp Family

Tim built the camp a new Snack Shack/Trading Post... so adorable!

Addie running the Snack Shack... she is getting school hours for her management lessons/project, amongst many other lessons she is learning running it!

In the Trading Post she did ordering inventory, stocking, organizing and pricing items and she practices sales, customer service and marketing every day during Rec Time...

Sno Cones!

Baby is growing!

On our way to lesson time.

Lessons in the Amp... This year's skit are really one of my favorites!

Eli. Simply Eli.