A Hard Week

In all respect, I really have NOTHING to complain about. God is good, my family is all well, and I am blessed in even these things, but last week was one of the harder weeks I have every had. Two fridays ago I woke up feeling kind of yucky.  The yuckiness soon evolved into full blown sickness. I guess I got food poisoning. It was horrid. That night my lower back started aching horribly and I had a low fever, I suspect a kidney infection. The next morning I went to the ER (missing a baby shower I was co-hosting) and spending the day hooked up to an IV all alone! Thank the Lord it was nothing but dehydration... Fast forward to Sunday night. At 11:30ish we get a phone call (never a good thing at that time of night) that is from our friend from TN telling us that Tim and I's best friend in TN has suddenly died!  What do you do with that??? As a Christian there is an element of joy... but mostly we just miss him, we are broken hearted for his wife and baby, what good is in this, we are crushed. We spend a day or two in emotional limbo, praying, crying, packing, calling, driving, listening to whining, and finally flying.  In TN we face some reality, but it is still so hard to accept! You mean there will be NO more brats and chili and camping? No more amazingly warm smile or a "chat" that is really about something? Just NO more all of a sudden like that? It is just still so hard to comprehend!  We do the funeral... it was amazing, but not nearly as much as he was.  We spend a day in a hibernative state of dullness.  We try to enjoy catching up with other dear friends.  We try to offer SOMETHING, anything to our dear friends wife.... What could we really do? I felt at a loss, nothing could DO.  Such a struggle in my heart, just sadness for her, feeling like I wish I could make it better, but can't at all! So frustrated, so much so I don't think I was any good. We leave...fly to Denver, see our sweet girl, have a big fight, feel hopeless, hug, drive drive drive... Home at last!

It was a doozy, yet I know that all things considered I am really the one that should be thanking the Lord, not complaining.