So this last week and weekend have been absolutely ridiculous!
It all started with a cold. Cough, fever... NOT a biggy.
While everyone was working at CBX we stayed mostly at home and coughed. Good times!
Well, I guess I missed the fact that there was a full scale stomach flu epidemic occurring at camp. We came for a few meals and that was about it.
How we acquired the flu is unknown, but the beginning of this tale of tragic comedy.
On Friday my mom flew in to watch our kiddos so we could take a Wilderness 1st Aid class and get some more adoption education credits (yes, this counts!)
I pick her up and we eat at the camp and are on our way to Wallymart to pick up some goods and Cora retches and gags and completely totals out the back seat. Addie is gagging in "sympathy" and plugging her nose, Elias has NO clue what made his sister explode and doesn't really seemed at all phased by it. My mom is rolling down windows and being a sympathetic grandma who is about to "loose" it herself. And I am frantically looking in the back for clothes to use a mops and to change her into!
We are sleep deprived. Mom did her time and ran for home on Monday (can you blame her, what a good mom to catch my kids barf!)
On Tuesday we think Cora is 95% better and we have 2 well child visits at the doctor. So we (Tim) thinks, "We seriously need out! Lets grab a "quick lunch" and then all go to the Dr."
We are sitting in our favorite restaurant (they know us there... unfortunately). Cora gags and throws up all over me, and again, and repeat! We try catching it with napkins... thank goodness there are 5 of us, we needed all 5 napkins. It was milk curd barf... the ABSOLUTE worst kind of barf there is!!!
I shutter at the memory!
It was ALL over me! Seriously, more on me than on the barfer!
I run to the car, find I've used all my supply in the back seat of clothes and manage to get us somewhat cleaned up. Seriously I am standing in down town Durango with a sock, wiping curds of regurgitated milk off of me.
Tim comes out with our "to go food" that isn't very (at all) appetizing... except to Elias... the boy just doesn't care, totally oblivious to those kind of things, so he stuffs his face while Addie plugs her nose. We go to the post office (don't ask, we know we weren't thinking clearly.)
Tim runs in and about 60 seconds later Elias announces, "Mom! I got to poop!"
When the boy has to poop you need to find him a potty and quick... it wasn't quick enough.
Yep, he pooped his pants! Not really bad, but still bad enough to warrant a change.
I think, "Ok God, why is the world coming to an end... all on top of me?"
I choke back a pitiful and ugly cry. Determined that even if I smell like puke I WILL NOT ugly cry at the post office!
We get to the doctors.... note I didn't not write "then we stopped to get me a fresh set of clothes..." The puke had dried and at local bathroom (by God's providence) I found some "Febreze" and I will humbly admit I sprayed it all over me! It was "meadow scented"... so I smelled like a meadow someone had thrown up in.
This was an all time low for me.
I knew if we took the time to go home we'd miss our slot and to get a well child appointment takes a minimum 2 months at our doctor... (that is a whole different issue), but we were NOT going to miss the appointments!!!
When we got there they have this machine that gives out hand sanitizer... I got enough to sanitize a hippo and kept applying until i am sure on lookers were wondering if I was trying to shower with the stuff.
We got in, everyone is well, good times!
And after I thought, "Seriously, why did I think that was SO important?" But still this story has more...
Then we headed home. We walked in and my nose told me something was very amiss... Cora had had lower tummy troubles too! Well, our dog (I don't want to even mention her name, she isn't my favorite of God's creatures) well, she had been left inside, had gotten into trash and had torn up poopy diapers!!! You know the filling was every where... little beads of poopy mess all over my kitchen! Oh... my... please... take ... me ... now...
Can you imagine my thought process?
1. Marci you can flop down on the floor, kick and scream and lose it completely and utterly... sounds justifiable.
2. Marci, run! Just Run!
3. NO, I'll kill that animal! She doesn't deserve to live after that!
4. Oh my word! Laugh, just laugh! It isn't worth it!
I ended up laughing... sort of... It was the kind of laugh that could turn into a cry at any moment... but I chose to laugh. I knew it couldn't possible get worse... hopefully.
What a day! What a week! By God's grace I didn't loose it, kill our dog with my bare hands or fall over and choose never to get up!
So, if you are ever sleep deprived, get thrown up on, clean up a poopy pants, have to make an appointment and get to clean up after your dog, just know, it can't get worse... hopefully.
Life... keeping it real.
Oh and know, I am lysoling, beaching and disinfecting every surface in my home... and I am still working on forgiving my dog.
That may take some time.