Friday, September 28, 2007


All summer long I was really looking forward to the start of our churches women's Bible study. I had gone last year and really learned a lot and grew through it. It started up a few weeks ago and last Thursday was the first I went to because of being on vacation. All I can say is that I am one big ball of emotions. The study itself is GREAT (on Luke and the life of Christ). But the small group I am with has me really discouraged. I guess I envisioned a group of spiritually mature women delving deeper into the things of God, sharing their heart, etc... Boy was I wrong. Our leader started off by going off for about 10 minutes one how she expected us to answer and discuss the questions (I wish I were exaggerating). She listed many things that she "wouldn't allow" in our discussion; anything that is personal experience, pastor's thoughts, author's thoughts and pretty much anything that isn't directly God's word. I think perhaps she was trying to counter annoying tangents, but what it created was a spirit of fear. No one wanted to "discuss." Perhaps because once you answer a question it is just so basic you feel dumb stating the obvious. I don't know.
Then, this is where I know I am in sin, but she took the 10 minutes going off about this and said, "Well, we don't have any time for CHATTING, we need to get down to business, yada, yada..." And completely ignored that I was new to the group and didn't know anyone. It is a bit hard to want to discuss the Word when you don't even know the people around you. Ugh! Christians can be so much unlike Christ (myself included, as I am all bound up in resentment). Furthermore I am the only young person in my group (the next youngest has teenagers). From the looks of it all the other groups have at least 2 younger women in them. It is just hard to not feel alienated. I am praying, but not sure what to do. Should I ignore it and make the best of it or ask for a new group?

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