To Wyoming and Back

On Father's Day my grandpa killed himself. His name was Glenn Arthur Watters, he was 83. He had cancer and was having trouble with age induced dementia. My parents called him to wish him happy father's day and he told them he was feeling ok, but just didn't want to live any more. He was found the next day by his cleaning lady, he had shot himself.

Last Monday we had his funeral. It was in Powell, WY. (just outside Cody) where he lived most of his life. My dad officiated the service. My grandpa was a very stubborn, arrogant and prideful man. He found it hard to love and be loved. Perhaps that is why he refused to accept the gift of salvation or to acknowledge the existence of God. That is the hardest part I suppose, because I don't have hope that he changed his mind in the end. I am left wondering if I did enough... But, I find peace in that I know my grandpa was given more opportunities than most people to experience Jesus, Christianity and the word of God. However, it is still hard to think that it just wasn't enough, could more have been done to change his mind???

I remember as a very little child (4 perhaps) knowing that my grandpa didn't believe in God. I would purposefully ask him to read me a book and pick out one that was a Bible story. He didn't like to read it, but did any way. Despite all his hang ups, he did love me and was a good grandpa to me. He loved Cadillacs and had 3 1950's convertibles with the big wing tail ends. I would ride next to him in parades. He also baby sat me a lot. I remember falling asleep in bed next to him as Johnny Carson played on the TV. In the morning we would get up and go to his office, he was an optometrist. We would stop and get doughnuts from Day Light Doughnuts. For me, doughnut holes for him a bear claw. He always gave me a bite of his... At lunch we would go eat with some of his friends and then he would make time to go to a park so I could play. He was a softy and would take me to several if I asked. He was also a good singer. He liked big band and Frank Sinatra. He and I would "rock out" to "New York New York." He would play over and over on his 8 track player!!! LOL! He also sang some songs like: The Moon Shines Tonight on Pretty Red Wing, Don't Fence Me In, Where the Buffalo Roam, and many more I can't remember right now. But, half the songs were filled in with "doo doos" where he didn't know the words. He had the straightest, pointiest nose I have ever seen!!! And the softest silver hair that covered his head until his death. He will be missed.