My freshman year of college I had started dating a very nice young man, he was a Christian, funny, smart and just nice to be around, we enjoyed each other’s company and I definitely thought I could/would marry him.
We continued to date after the year ended and through out the summer. During the summer we talked, wrote and made trips to visit each other. But, I also had lots of time to evaluate our relationship and one night after thinking about the commitment that marriage entails I just prayed, “God, I don’t know what you want for me. Please don’t let me marry or continue this relationship if it isn’t in your will.” Then, quickly forgot the prayer sure I was headed on the right track.
Three days before my return to college I got a call from the young man. He said, “I don’t know why, but I think we need to break up. I don’t have a reason, but I just don’t think we are suppose to be together, and I can’t shake it.”
Well, I was crushed. I had invested a lot of my heart… too much in fact… and had started dreaming of a future with him. I felt myself seeping down deep in to that horrible pit of self-pity and heartbreak. I admit I wallowed there for a time.
In all it was a hard time, but also a time that I saw God in ways I hadn’t seen Him before. I prayed with a true understanding that it was He that saw me and would provide for me, God became my friend and deepest lover during that year! Time after time He showed me he wanted me for His own and to be in His will. I learned He has always wanted my heart to be undividedly His… not me using God to get the blessings I wanted.
That year was full of proof that God was my helper…
One event, was that all of my roommates bailed on me and moved off campus, I called an old roommate who quickly agreed to live with me… from then on she was my best friend through college… a great supporter and truly loving friend. She is still a good listener!
Another event was that we were place in a building and with a RA that became one of my best friends. He was older, and not what I would have thought would be a dear friend (but he is another story altogether). He lead my husband to the Lord that year and we all became good friends because of him.
Also, I moved into the room next door to the man that I would one day marry. Little did I know how it all mattered so much then. It was all like a puzzle fitting neatly and tightly together… I could only see the pieces, but God saw the overall work of art.
God makes good things out of broken pieces!