Wednesday, February 25, 2015

A Baby's Perspective on Raising a Happy Mother

I’ve decided that I’ve been spoiling my mommy. 

Experts in “Attachment Babying” recommend that from birth on, a baby should try to adapt itself to the life of it's mommy. A baby should sleep well, eat well and generally have an agreeable disposition. They recommend “cue feeding” ... looking to mommy to read her need for nursing (when she starts pulling at her bra straps, soiling her shirt with milk, getting red in the face, perspiring ... that sort of thing.) They also recommend letting a mommy sleep as much as she likes and seeking to let her form her own routine, however ridiculous that may be and a baby should naturally adapt to mommy's crazy, nonsensical "routine".

But … I learned that when this method is applied, a mommy tends to develop some very bad habits ... it is almost embarrassing! I know that when I take her out in public I'll have other babies looking down their short round noses at me if I don't begin to help my mommy be a more adaptable person.

After a lot of research here are two other methodologies to raising a mommy that have better outcomes ... "The Happiest Mommy on the Block" and “Baby~Wise”. 

I'd like to share my findings with you! 

With "Happiest Mommy on the Block" you implement the 4 C's...

Cry/Colic - The sound of crying is very soothing to mommies. That's why they begin to rock you (a sign of self-soothing) and zone out. If she is shooshing you, you need to cry louder until she stops.
Cuddle - Sleeping with your mommy is the best way to give her the best rest possible and also help her learn the important life skill of sleeping anywhere, at any time.
Carry - Let her carry you and walk you around, bouncing is encouraged! Mommywearing is also very helpful at encouraging continual carrying, and it is pretty stylish and can get addictive. This helps her regulate and it has the added benefit of helping her lose her baby fat.
Chow down - Mothers need a baby to eat all night long and in regularly timed intervals through out the day (every 15 to 25 minutes) ... this helps them build up a great supply of milk that stabilizes her hormones that are out of whack in the postpartum time period!

This is promised to give you the Happiest Mommy on the Block!!! 

Baby~Wise is a method that has gotten some bad press in recent years, but I think it's all because it is greatly misunderstood (and at times wrongly applied)!

Basically, Baby~Wise is where the baby uses its own wisdom to train it’s parents to do what is beneficial for the whole family. 

I know… please don’t throw rotten tomatoes yet, hear me out! 

This requires putting mommy on a gentle, yet stringent, schedule for both feeding and sleeping … which basically looks like doing whatever fits the baby's life, routine and desire's best! It's important to start teaching the mommy early that there are rules which they must live by. It also requires waking her up in the night or better yet having her bring you back into bed with her until about age 24 months or more. This is to help her learn to differenciate night and day. Night is when you lay by her and suck continually and day is when you pop on and off all the time.

It does require a baby to allow her mommy to “self-sooth” and from time to time “cry-it-out” (CIO) but I will promise you that after the first few weeks of practicing Baby~Wise your mommy will stop crying so much and learn the skills she needs to sooth herself. Your home will be a happy place again.

And yes, I have heard that CIO can be damaging to mommy’s emotional state, but for real, a little crying never hurt anyone. We all know "everyone needs a good cry every now and then!” (Please no nasty comments… we can all live and let live, if you don’t agree with CIO practices just skip that part).

Baby~Wise is done to help her grow up and become a more well-rounded individual, selfless and more mature. This will make her a happy mommy in the long run. I know that many think this could be harmful for mommies, but it's about keeping the end in mind. 

I recently heard about a study on mothers in Africa. Their babies hold to a very rigid form of Baby~Wise... they don't leave their mommies alone for a moment and nurse them nearly 24/7 and it was found that their mommies are some of the happiest mommies on the planet. It must be that "village wisdom" they've passed down from baby to baby!

Plus, you can take it from a baby with 5 older siblings… experienced in the art of being a baby. "Babies of many", like me,  have been around the block a time or two we aren't "first timers" unsure of what we should do with our mommies. 

I have been spoiling mommy… it is evident in her behavior. She was beginning to get “fussy” and demanding. She thinks she runs this family, well, she needs to learn her place and Baby~Wise is the best method to accomplish this! If you want to know more, fellow babies, I have plenty of personal experience to prove just how effective this method is! 

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