About Baby #3

We are almost to the 3rd trimester with this new sweet baby.  It has gone by so quickly, I think in part to the fact that I am so busy with the other two. Our estimated due date is October 5th, but I bet it will be sooner than that because I have measured 2 weeks ahead for 3 months now and the ultrasound put the due date at about September 25th.  So, who knows when this little one will make their grand entrance?  We are planning a home birth with 2 great midwives. One has been catching babies for over 25 years and the other about half that long.  It will just be nice to be able to stay in bed. I was thinking that I need to get bags packed and such, but really I don't need worry too much about that (perhaps a small bag in case we end up having to go the hospital).  

We had an ultrasound a few weeks ago, didn't find out the gender, but have a hunch that it is a girl. Either way, we will be thrilled!  Some of the names on our list are: Cora, Naomi, Selah, Laurelle, Nora, and Rose and for a boy perhaps, Christian, Jude, Reed, Hudson, Isaac or Caedmon. Really, we haven't talked much at all about it.  Choosing names is really hard for us. It will be interesting to see what Tim thinks later on. 

I am also trying to get a little layette put together, mainly things I just want for the baby that I can make. So far this is what I have gotten finished:

- knitted striped girls hat

- knitted solid color girls hat

- felted booties for girl

- felted mary janes for girl

- a ring sling

- a nursing cover

- cloth baby wipes

- cloth diaper pail liner

What I need to finish:

- knitted boy hat (2)

- knitted boy booties, felted (1 pair)

- baby blanket (one for boy, one for girl)

The Cost of Community

I have been thinking much lately about the joys and difficulties of christian community.  Most christians live in a safe, low responsibility community...the church. We don't really need each other in the church and we can easily avoid our responsibilities to each other there. When problems do arise we can sweep them under the carpet or just change communities. This isn't at all true about working in the ministry or at a camp. Problems crop up weekly, we see each other at our best and worst on a daily basis and grace must cover a multitude of sins.  

With Christian community there are distinct privileges, problems and responsibilities. Dietrick Bonhoffer said, "It is easily forgotten that the gift of community is a gift of grace, a gift of the kingdom of God that any day may be taken from us, that the time that still separates us from utter loneliness may be brief indeed. Therefore, let him who now has had the privilege of living in a common Christian life with other Christians praise God's grace from the bottom of his heart. Let him thank God on his knees and declare: It is grace, nothing but grace that we are allowed to live in community with Christian brethren."  

In short, we find that community is a gift of grace, it can be taken from us at any moment and that it isn't something we should expect or that we deserve from the Lord.  God has so graciously given us community so that we can more fully understand the workings of the Trinity and the community that God has with in Himself, it keeps us longing for the joys of the community we will experience in Heaven, and community sharpens and sanctifies us (Prov. 27:17).  However, here on earth I think that community provides us an opportunity to practice the qualities of Christ that are hardest for us.  This is a privilege, but not an enjoyable one. To fully practice our "religion" we must do what is hardest for us. For we are not really loving, serving, being humble or being like Christ, until we are put into a place when that is difficult. 

This is where problems arise in community, weather it be our marriage or with those we are less intimate; something we hold dear is offended, and we are given the choice of putting ourselves or the others first.  1 Cor. 3:1 speaks about just such a problem, "Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly - mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldy. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?"  Paul is pointing out that when we become Christians we are to take on the characteristics of Christ, seeking to become more and more like Him, but because of our sin and selfishness we stay in a state of the world.  

Instead, we are to practice the qualities of Christ, Romans 12 is a chapter filled to the brim with these qualities and how they make community what God would have it to be:

- not thinking of our selves higher that we should

- see others as Christ sees them

- love with sincerity

- honor others more than ourselves

- never lack zeal

- be patient

- share with those in need

- bless those that persecute you

- do not be conceited

- do what is right in other eyes

- live in peace with everyone, as much as you can

- do not take revenge

- overcome evil with good

When I taught kindergarten I found that the biggest problem was with how the children treated each other when some one wronged them.  Our most basic nature is to take revenge, but that isn't what will make things right or even make us truly happy.  So, we "instituted" a new policy based on 1 Peter 3:8,9, "Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another, be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with a blessing, because to this your called so that you may inherit a blessing."  The key to Christian community is all wrapped up in this. When some one wrongs you, bless them!  Put your pride to the side and do something to bless them, encourage them  or to make them happy.  

Our faith is nothing until it is tested in these circumstances.  We cannot say we are followers of Christ until we must follow him at a cost. With in community we have the amazing opportunity to practice what we preach and to become more like Christ! Thank you Lord for this opportunity.

Fun Day Friday: Water Tubs and Pouring

Our Fun Day Friday activity a few weeks ago was to bring out 2 tubs of water and a bunch of toys, tools and kitchen supplies and to learn about pouring water and to just have fun!  Elias mainly like to splash and drop rocks in the buckets.  Addie enjoyed practicing pouring it and using an old paint brush to "paint" the house and porch. I think this activity could have kept them busy for hours! Next time I won't add bubbles...it made the porch slippery. 

Christian Children's Resources I Like

Here is an abbreviated list of children's books/resources I like. If I listed them all it would get out of hand. These are my absolute favorites! 

- The Jesus Storybook Bible: Where Every Story Whispers His Name.

We are almost finished reading this to Addie, she got it for Christmas from us. It is the best kids Bible I have come across. Each story points to Christ and the illustrations are very artistic and fun (no "senior picture Jesus" here...). This has been a great resource to helping Addie learn about who Jesus is.  I LOVE it!!! 

- The Children's Illustrated Bible

I used this as a teacher. The stories are very close to the Bible and detailed, so it is better for older children. The photographs and illustrations are very accurate and help answer questions. I think this is a good resource for homeschoolers and older children.

- Big Truths for Little Kids

This is a catechism resource that makes a the standard catechism easier to teach children so that they aren't just repeating a memorized statement, but understanding the truth behind it. We haven't yet started this with Addie, but plan to this fall. Each chapter contains 3-5 catechism questions and answers and a story that talks about them.  

Too Embarrassed to Parent

I was thinking recently why it is that parents seem and act too embarrassed to parent their children, specifically in public settings.  This is something I have to get over every summer when our staff arrive, realizing that they will see me teach, train and discipline my children hundreds of times through out the summer. Here are some things I have been studying on the subject lately...

I think it is safe to say that any parent is embarrassed from time to time at the behavior of their children. This is usually true in public, when your rosy-faced darling pitches a fit. One that, to your chagrin, equals the tantrums of the children that made you NOT want children.  In the back of your head you push aside that emphatic statement you had made, "My child will never act THAT way!" as you hastily shove a candy bar in the siren like mouth. This form of "survival parenting" is a common response to dealing with our children's misbehavior.  It is safe to say taht we all choose not to discipline our children properly or fully because we are afraid of how it will make us appear to others. So, we do whatever it takes to avoid actually parenting our children in a way that is pleasing to the Lord and in the model his word has provided for us.  Unfortunately, we unintentionally make greater fools of ourselves and worse of all we do our children the greatest disservice possible...failure to teach them that they are sinners in need to forgiveness and restoration with God and man.

Proverbs 29:15 is spot on, "The rod of correction  imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother."  When I first read this, I tend to think that it is the child that is a disgrace, an embarrassment and shameful.  That may be true, but my own experience and further study has lead me to  think that the disgraceful behavior isn't all that of the child, but more often the failure of the mother to correct and discipline her child's naturally sinful nature. Young's Literal translation renders the verse this way, "A rod and reproof give wisdom, and a youth let away is shaming his mother."  The difference is that the mother is actively letting the child have his way through not providing the proscribed correction.  The "rod and reproof" are that correction.  When they are given consistently and lovingly the out come is wisdom in the child.  A child needs both physical correction, matching equally with communicating how the child failed to meet the correct standard to produce a right heart and understanding of their faults.  

Reproof is defined most simply as, "To rework, so as to eliminate what is considered to be faulty." This definition applies directly to the hearts of our children when they are disobedient to us. It is our responsibility as parents to "rework and eliminate" those errors, so that they don't continue to grow in these incorrect qualities that will later cause them harm.  

Furthermore, Proverbs 29:15 goes on to say, "a youth let away is shaming his mother," This implies that mother actively let the child go his own way because she failed to provide correction. This is common in that parents choose unbiblical forms of discipline because they are the method that is currently acceptable, but they don't end up working out in the end.  Some examples are, rewarding or bribing. They tend  to produce a spirit or attitude of self-gradification or selfishness. The child thinks they are owed something when they act a certain way.  Repeatedly warning children produces delayed obedience or disobedience and in turn a stronger willfulness. Take away privileges produces the desire for independence form parental authority and to be good only in outward appearances in order to get what is wanted. These and other unbiblical methods don't correct errors or change hearts. At most they will change outward behavior for a time, until the child figures a way around it.

My favorite part of this verse is actually the last words, "a youth let away IS shaming his mother," What is shameful or disgraceful is that the mother is letting the child call the shots. It is the mother's actions or failure to act that is disgraceful.  However, I know as a parent I don't see my failure to discipline in that light. I think of it as being gracious, polite, considerate to others, or seeking to show others what a kind and sweet mother I am.  They may or may not see it that way, but God definitely sees it as disgraceful and as a distinct failure to accomplish His delegation to me as a mother to the children he has so graciously given me care and training of.

This verse may specifically say mother for a reason. God know that it is often a pit-fall that women fall into. We want to be viewed as nurturing, caring and loving, especially in front of other mothers. We feel our value and worth is judged on these qualities. We also don't want to be embarrassed because we sternly and rightly discipline our children and we fear looking mean if our children cry or if we spank them.  When we fear these things we are placing our focus in the wrong areas. If others do criticize or think poorly of us we should rest assure that the Lord will deal faithfully between us and them. If we aren't in error he will protect and provide for us. James 4:17 says, " Anyone who know the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."  

In am encouraged to look foolish or to even embarrass myself as I use loving and biblical discipline with my children. I know that spanking is viewed as barbaric and verbal correcting my children isn't the popular method these days.  In a day and age that uses methods based on nothing but grace, where no punishments can be used, few corrections and even discourages naming behaviors as wrong or naughty, I find hope in these words, "For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." (1 Cor. 1:25).  It is very reassuring to know that God love my children far more than I do, that his word is with out error and would not contain an incorrect method for training children and that where I fall short he is gracious and sovereign over us all! 

Confirming what we do...

Yesterday a round little boy from a lower income hispanic family looked up into the eyes of his counsellor and said with heartfelt enthusiasm, "This has been the greatest day of my life!"  I was fighting back the tears at that one!

And it begins...

In about an hour camp officially begins! The start of camp is such a mixture of feelings for me. I look forward to it because I enjoy the staff, getting to know new people, seeing kids around the camp, the hussle and bussle, and seeing God work in amazing ways!  I dread it because I know I will be in a state of semi-single parenting for a few months, staff not knocking on our door (just walking right on in) and I always feel a pressure to "measure up" to what I think other's expectations of me are. 

This year the transition from "normal life" to "camp life" has been even more difficult.  For one thing, the other young couple that had worked here have left and I find myself with less companionship and support...I am not sure where I really belong.  Also, their little ones kept my little ones occupied and happy.  That is the other very difficult part of this summer, Addie has had a horrible time adjusting to the routine of camp. She is just whiny and acting out behaviorally in every way possible. I'm really growing weary of discipline and trying to be sensitive to her in this.  I keep repeating Gal. 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Easier said than done, I think. 

However, I do take hope in the fact that this crazy life will seem perfectly normal to us in a week or two and that for all of the issues that arise my children get to be loved on by 10 great college students, we get to show them the blessings of marriage and family and we get an opportunity to practice the principles of our faith through servanthood, denying self, loving others and humility on an nearly hourly basis.  God is good to allow us these things and to surprise us with others!  Here begins another amazing adventure. God be with us!!!